Sometimes life just isn’t easy. Of course we wish it was, but bumps in the road, let-downs, and even heartbreak are inevitable. I bet you can think of more than a dozen situations when life just hasn’t gone your way. When we go through adversity, it’s easy to lose perspective and become consumed by our own situation. Sometimes, the hardships are significant and unquestionable. Other times, we might be making more out of our plight than it deserves, or as my mom used to say, we make mountains out of molehills.
Whether or not that is the case, there is a proven and effective solution for working through loss, obstacles, and adversity that may surprise you (and may even seem hard to do). It comes not by increasing our attention to our situation, but by focusing on others. You may not realize it, but it’s a total “win-win” situation. Let me explain…
“A few years ago in a small, rural town in Oregon, a teenage boy died in a drowning accident. In all likelihood his death could have been prevented if an ambulance and trained medical personnel had been available. However, this small town was too poor to afford these services.
The boy’s mother grieved for the loss of her son, but she also transformed her grief into a service to her community. While she could not regain her son, she worked to prevent a similar tragedy. This resilient and determined woman became trained as an Emergency Medical Technician. After completing her training she raised money to purchase an ambulance and trained volunteers to help her. It is estimated that this volunteer ambulance service has saved the lives of over 100 people who might have died, like her son, due to a lack of emergency care. When interviewed, this woman said, ‘It’s easier to forget your own loss when you are busy helping others.’”*
If you’re currently in the valley and navigating a trial, find a way to help others even less fortunate than you. This could be a community service opportunity, a mission trip, or a visit to a soup kitchen, hospital, or just taking someone a meal. Or, reach out to a friend who you know is also going through a hard time. Offer to take them out to coffee and give them your undivided attention. Your compassion, encouragement, and maybe even your suggestions might make the world of difference.
When you look outside yourself and focus on others, truly remarkable things can happen. For one, you may find your situation isn’t as troubling or bleak as you thought. Learning of others’ struggles may make you feel more grateful for what you have. Secondly, you’ll experience joy and satisfaction from helping others. You’ll begin to count your blessings, which are easy to forget when facing tough challenges. It also helps you forget your own problems for a while and gives you a completely new perspective (which, many times, is exactly what you need!). Thirdly, just knowing you’ve helped someone out and lifted their spirits is enough to raise your own!
Have you ever reached out to other people in the midst of adversity? What effect did it have on your outlook? What became of your situation? As always, we’d love to hear from you!
*Story excerpted from The Healing Power of Service, by Edward V. Brown, as shared on www.energizeinc.com.