Month: February 2015

Give Everything Your Best

Posted by

0

Parents, educators, and mentors, how are the attitudes of the young people under your guidance? In our visits with businesses and educators, we hear repeated concerns over work ethic, disrespect, and a sense of entitlement. Too often, these attitudes are overshadowing the skills our young people are bringing to the table. Here’s a piece to help you help them…

 

One of history’s most admired people, Helen Keller, once said, “I long to accomplish great and noble tasks, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble.”

So, how high do you set your bar? If you were given a daily report card on your actions and accomplishments throughout the day, what would your grades be? Would you be proud of yourself and your performance—and more importantly—your attitude?

Each day, there are opportunities to use our time, talents, and unique skills to learn, grow, and serve—not just in our actions, but also with our attitude. It shows in the quality of our work and relations with colleagues and clients. It’s found in our families in our roles as spouse, parent, and relative. It’s in the times we spend with friends and those we serve. And, in our everyday interactions with others, whether we know them or not.  The bottom line is this: Did you give your all to every aspect of your day?

Setting a high bar is especially important when associating with others—whether in our families, school, workplace, or in social settings. When we operate solo, our dignity and self respect are on the line. However, when we’re part of a collaborative setting, we have an added responsibility to contribute to the total effort. We owe them our best.

Here are my top ten indicators of an attitude of excellence: 1) high personal and professional standards of performance and behavior, 2) positivity, 3) enthusiasm, 4) dependability, 5) integrity, 6) humility, 7) motivation and work ethic, 8) kindness, 9) respect, and 10) resilience. What’s on your list?

If you are a teacher, parent, or mentor, how do you encourage the young people in your life to give their best? How would you rate in modeling the top ten? Here are some quick and easy ideas for encouraging students to give 110 percent with passion and resolve:

  • Create a personal report card for them. After completing a task (a team project, a sports game, a large chore around the house, a book report), ask them to fill it out and rate themselves not only on their performance, but their attitude. (Here’s a helpful article on receiving constructive criticism.)
  • Praise them for their efforts in all things, and stress the importance of positivity and determination, not just winning.
  • Ask them about a time they gave their best but didn’t take the prize versus when they didn’t give their best but still won. How did they feel after the outcome? .
  • Share your stories of times when you gave your best and how it paid off.
  • Have them do an honest self assessment of the top ten attitude indicators. In which are they a role model? Where is there room for growth?

Developing an attitude of excellence is a sign of a true winner. We won’t always take home the prize, but we can gain the admiration of others by giving everything our best.

Adversity: Preparation for Greater Things

Posted by

2

When something crummy happens in your life, do you ever just sit back and ask “why me?” or think to yourself “I don’t deserve this!” When the going gets rough, it’s hard to see past our own circumstances into the “master plan” that may lie ahead of us.

None other than Walt Disney, the master of happy, once said, “You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.” Funny thing—when I look back on my greatest adversity, I’m struck by how often I actually benefited from it! It just didn’t feel that way at the time. It took retrospect for me to realize that the hardship was really for the greater good.

One of life’s greatest adventures is seeing what becomes of our trials. Was it a necessary lesson to grow us? Might it be the catalyst for something new and better? Will it ever make sense? Or, was it just…stuff?

Take these examples:

  • My wife’s health challenges allow her to encourage others facing similar battles.
  • Bombing my calculus final exposed my math limitations and motivated me to select a better fitting major.
  • A difficult investment performance period taught me important lessons about humility.
  • All those times girlfriends broke up with me…Hey! They freed me up to marry Jeanne, my wife!

Who knows, when life serves you a lemon, it might just be the makings of a refreshing glass of lemonade. At least give it a shot! It doesn’t hurt to change your perspective and open your eyes to the potential impact that a seemingly impossible situation might have.

What is your own personal perspective on adversity? When you’re faced with a tough situation, how do you deal? Do you have any examples of times that a trial has turned out for the good, or somehow strengthened you as a person?

Are You an Inspiring Team Player?

Posted by

0

One of my most admired leaders, George Russell, always used to say, “It’s amazing what you can accomplish if you don’t care who gets the credit.” I have to admit I didn’t fully appreciate the wisdom of his words early in my career. But, in time I realized he was right. When you adopt George’s philosophy, you become a true team player and everyone benefits.

 Teamwork is more and more the name of the game in the workplace these days. In the past, many people learned to perform a single skill and then continued it for many years. These days, however, creativity and innovation are more often what is needed in the workplace—requiring greater collaboration, flexibility, and interpersonal skills from workers.

 Do you have what it takes to be a great team player in today’s economy? Do the young adults in your life?

 

My favorite spectator sport is basketball. To me, it’s the consummate team sport where character is revealed before our very eyes.

Some players clearly focus on individual scoring (often to the detriment of the team when they go overboard), and enjoy being in the limelight. Still others are known for their passing and defense and rarely receive the same fan attention. Yet, isn’t it interesting that, it’s the team with the best defense and passing that usually wins the championship? I believe there’s a message to be learned in this.

           

When I coached basketball, I gave special praise for assists, tenacious defense, and our unsung heroes. One young lady on our team, Jazi, as the perfect example. She may have scored only two points a game, but we were never the same without her! She was our best passer and shut down the finest guards with her incredible defense. Our victories against our toughest opponents often came from her defense rather than from our leading scorer. She was the consummate team player and unsung hero. I wouldn’t have traded her for the world.

In the NBA, the player that most comes to my mind is John Stockton, a retired point guard from the Utah Jazz. He’s the league’s all-time assist leader, which is a true sign of an unselfish team player. During his career, he handed out an incredible 15,806 assists to his teammates— truly an extraordinary accomplishment. It is rare in sports to see records that stand out like this, and it’s a testimony to John’s skill, unselfishness, and endurance.

Throughout your life, you’ll be in countless team situations, especially on the job. When these opportunities arise, focus on the team rather than on your individual contributions. Encourage them, praise them, mentor them, enjoy them, and show your gratitude toward them. Bring everyone up and your team will achieve great things. Your leadership will be liked, respected, and admired by others.

                                                                        

Can you see the difference on a team when players focus on mutual support and team effort, as opposed to seeking personal recognition? Please share your comments and stories with us; we’re always glad to hear from our readers!

 

Building Positive Relationship Capital with Teens

Posted by

3

When my wife and I first became parents, we naïvely assumed our kids would be just like us. I always imagined that we’d have a little “mini me” (or at least a “mini we!”) running around the house. That theory went out the window as our firstborn began “revealing himself.” We had given birth to a highly energetic, creative kid with an extremely high people orientation. Coming from two very analytical, task-oriented MBA types, he was definitely unique among our gene pools! So much for “me plus she equals he!”

While it may have taken some time (which, for him may have seemed like an eternity!), we learned to understand and value his uniqueness.

Your kids may be just like you. Or, they may be completely the opposite. Both scenarios present challenges, and it’s easy to misunderstand one another and hit bumps in your relationship. That’s why it’s so important, especially in the teen years when so much is at stake, to build lots of relationship capital with our children.

Imagine a large bucket. Now, picture a stream flowing into it containing essential relationship ingredients like love, trust, respect, understanding, encouragement, fun, humor, shared experiences, and real conversations. The stronger the flow of this stream, the stronger the relationship will be with your teen. When your relationship bucket is full, you’ll gain entrance into your children’s lives, enjoy better two-way communication, understand each other better, and negotiate conflict more peacefully.

Right now you may be feeling like your relationship bucket with your teen is running on empty. If so, please don’t despair! The reality is that the “water level” in any relationship rises and falls over time.

In your relationships, which ingredients are flowing strongly and which could use some enrichment? Are there any “leaks” to repair that are causing you or your teen to shut down? If so, here are some ways to refill your relationship bucket:

-Offer to treat them to their favorite coffee shop or frozen yogurt spot. No agenda! Keep it light and let them lead the conversations. Think “share with” rather than “talk to.”

-Offer to do something with them you know they’ll enjoy, even if it’s not your favorite.

-Jot them a note mentioning something you admire or appreciate about them.

-Show interest in their world (music, entertainment, activities) and stay positive.

-Ask for their advice or opinion on something.

-Have real conversation at the dinner table. No TV, no phones.

-Avoid conversation topics that cause sparks. Stay low risk until the capital levels have been rebuilt.

By applying this relationship bucket concept, you’ll have a steadier inflow and plug those harmful leaks. In time, you will regain entrance into their world more and more. You’ll also be better positioned for an enduring relationship in the adult years.

How are your bucket levels these days?

The Gifts of Unconditional Love and Belief

Posted by

0

Parents! Teachers! Mentors! If you have young people in your life—young people you believe in—this is crucial information for you!

Have you ever had someone believe in you more than you believed in yourself?  How did that make you feel?  It probably made you feel like you could take on the world, or tackle whatever situation you faced at the time. That’s the power of unbridled belief from others.

The famous artist Pablo Picasso claimed, “My mother always told me, ‘If you become a soldier, you’ll be a general; if you become a monk, you’ll end up as the pope.’ Instead, I became a painter and wound up as Picasso.” Many other successful people also point to their parents’ belief in them as the driving force behind their success. They believe that if their parents hadn’t been confident in them from the get-go, they wouldn’t be in the same place today.

I am precisely one of those people, and I will be forever grateful for my parents’ unconditional love and belief in me (even if I may not have always deserved it!). It helped more times than I can count.

Do your children (or other young people in your life) know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you love them unconditionally and believe in them unequivocally? Do they know that you see them as talented, worthy, and brimming with potential? Make certain they do. It is a tremendous asset for teens to be surrounded by adults who believe in them—who can affirm their uniqueness and value. That belief is an inner voice, encouraging them to dream big and persevere through life’s challenges.

Your child, mentee, or student will make his or her share of mistakes along the way (I know I sure did!).  But having the benefit of unconditional acceptance and belief from you will soften those blows and provide a safety net they can always count on.

Not so sure how to let them know you’re their biggest fan? Here are some ideas:

-Be upfront. Whether it’s at a meal, during a tutoring session, or after a class, be willing to open up. Tell them that you believe in them (and why) and that you’re bullish about their future. Call out some of their greatest assets and character traits.

-Write them a letter or note. Stick a note in their lunchbox, or if you’re a teacher, consider putting a sticky note on one of their assignments. Knowing you went to the effort to do that will speak volumes to them!

-Be generous with your time. What says “I believe in you” more than carving out time in your busy schedule?

-Speak from experience. Share your own downfalls, your mistakes, and your past life experiences. A little perspective from a “pro” can boost their confidence and build trust!

We can be the cheering squad that calls out the strengths and affirms the dreams and potential of the young people in our lives. It’ll let them know that if they were a stock, you’d be a buyer! And, the best part of all? Your belief will breed their belief.

Who could benefit from your gift of affirmation and belief today?

A Simple Idea to Change Our Culture

Posted by

0

Words have incredible power. They can be uplifting or destructive. Think back to a time you heard something nasty someone said about you—you probably felt angry, hurt, or rejected. Now, think about a time when you received authentic praise. It probably raised your spirits and boosted your confidence. It might have revealed something about yourself that you never fully appreciated!

Now consider your own words and what you’ve said about others. Sometimes our words stay solely with the receiver. Other times, they go in a million directions outside of our control, especially when we use social media, e-mail, or text messages. These days it doesn’t take much for a spark to ignite a fire.

What we say about others speaks volumes about our character—especially when we communicate about someone who is not present. They reflect our integrity, loyalty, kindness, and respect, not to mention our self control and self esteem!

One way to demonstrate excellent character is to only say things about others we wouldn’t mind them overhearing. That’s right—everything is constructive! Try this “Integrity Challenge” for a week and be amazed by how it affects your choice of words, and ultimately, your character and spirit! It makes us more tactful and respectful, and less judgmental. It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it!

Then, do it the next week and the next and the next. And, soon it will become a habit. This simple idea might be the best anti-bullying strategy of all!

While we’re at it, let’s start a movement in our schools—let’s take the Integrity Challenge. What is said or written about others is neutral or positive, with students holding each other accountable. Any criticism is constructive and only shared face to face. And, when we slip up, we apologize and ask for forgiveness.

What if we challenged ourselves and those around us—our families, friends, co-workers, teachers, students, etc.—to live by this principle? What if it became a way of life in how we think, relate, and communicate about others? Can you even imagine the possibilities? It would literally change the world—in a wonderful way! Are you up for it?

What are your habits when it comes to talking about others? Teachers and parents: This is a good piece of advice to share with the young people in your life, especially those who are active on social media.