Month: September 2013

Don’t Play the Blame Game

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“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible
for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.”

~Theodore Roosevelt

 When we experience a personal disappointment, it’s usually because we made an innocent mistake or our effort simply fell short. Is one worse than another? Well, to my way of thinking, a mistake is a little more serious because it’s an error, whereas a shortfall may have occurred despite our best effort. (After all, we can’t always win.)

Since we’re all human, mistakes and shortfalls are part of life. While no one keeps track, they number well into the thousands during our lifetime. That being the case, one has to wonder why it’s so difficult for people to admit their mistakes and accept responsibility.

Is it because the words “I’m sorry” don’t come easily? In such cases, it’s sometimes easier (and feels less shameful) to blame others and make excuses.

Is there a better way to handle our mistakes?

People who are prone to blame are actually reflecting their own insecurities. Implicitly, they assume their relationships can’t withstand an acknowledgement of a mistake or shortfall. However, it’s a false assumption, especially since people appreciate it when someone admits a mistake and asks for forgiveness.

When you make a mistake or your best efforts fall short of the goal, you can do one of two things:

  1. You can TAKE responsibility, apologize if appropriate, and do what you can to make things right.
  2. You can DODGE responsibility, blame someone else (or blame circumstances), and walk away from the situation – leaving others with the problem you created.

Choice #1 one will likely gain you the respect of your family, peers, and colleagues and help you learn from your mistake. Choice #2, on the other hand, will cause damage to your reputation and deprive you of a valuable opportunity for personal growth.

Why not exercise a little humility and take the high road? Learn to swallow your pride and admit it when you’ve fallen short. You’ll be respected and admired by others when you do… and you might be surprised by the grace they extend to you in return!

Do you find it difficult to admit your mistakes and accept that you aren’t perfect?

Are you harder on yourself than others would be if you took responsibility for your shortcomings? Share your thoughts and comments with our online community by commenting below; we’d love to hear your perspective!

 

Learn to Persuasively Market Yourself

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Let’s face it. Most of us are not natural born salespeople. We generally prefer to go about our business and hope that others will automatically recognize our greatness. Unfortunately, it usually doesn’t work out that way.           

In order to land that perfect job or win that prized promotion, you must persuade others that you are the answer! You need to become an effective salesperson of… YOU!

 The good news is that is that marketing yourself is a learned skill. So if you feel a little inexperienced (or uncomfortable) about putting yourself out there, here are some pointers to help you get started:  

·      Make a list of all of your strengths, qualifications, experiences, and accomplishments

·      Consider why they would be valuable to an employer 

·      Identify some personal stories that convey your attitude, unique achievements, and commitment to excellence

·      Be prepared to convincingly answer questions such as:

o   What value can you bring to the table?

o   What are your strengths and weaknesses?

o   Why should we hire you?

o   What do you consider to be your greatest accomplishments and personal attributes?

o   What motivates you?

o   What are you passionate about?

o   What are your most significant professional qualifications?

o   What’s the most difficult challenge you ever faced, and how did you deal with it?

·      Understand what the employer is looking for (qualifications, etc.). Consider how your assets address their needs. Think of yourself as the solution to their problem.

·      Build a compelling resume that highlights your strongest accomplishments and competitive advantages

·      Network with as many people as you can to receive endorsements and inside connections http://dennistrittin.com/view_blog.aspx?blog_id=139

·      During interviews, be personable, confident but not arrogant, look your interviewer(s) in the eye, repeat their name(s), shake their hands firmly, listen intently, come prepared with questions, show an interest in their company and the job, ask for a business card, promptly send a handwritten thank you note, exhibit confident body language, be yourself, and smile. That’s all!

If you’re able to do the above, you can become successful at marketing yourself. Your ability to answer why you are  the best person for the job is essential and not at all a sign of arrogance!

If someone asked you why you’re the best person for a job, would you be able to answer it with confidence, conviction, and humility? Please share your insights and experiences with us; we’d love to hear your comments below! And share us on your FB page or Twitter feed; we hope you’ll pass this along to your friends, family, and colleagues.

 

Be an Inspiring Team Player

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One of my most admired leaders, George Russell, always used to say, “It’s amazing what you can accomplish if you don’t care who gets the credit.” I have to admit I didn’t fully appreciate the wisdom of his words early in my career. But, in time I realized he was right. When you adopt George’s philosophy, you become a true team player and everyone benefits.


 Teamwork is more and more the name of the game in the workplace these days. In the past, many people learned to perform a single skill and then continued it for many years. These days, however, creativity and innovation are more often what is needed in the workplace—requiring greater collaboration, flexibility, and interpersonal skills from workers.


 Do you have what it takes to be a great team player in today’s economy? Do the young adults in your life?

 

My favorite spectator sport is basketball. To me, it’s the consummate team sport where character is revealed before our very eyes.


Some players clearly focus on individual scoring (often to the detriment of the team when they go overboard), and enjoy being in the limelight. Still others are known for their passing and defense and rarely receive the same fan attention. Yet, isn’t it interesting that, it’s the team with the best defense and passing that usually wins the championship? I believe there’s a message to be learned in this.

           

When I coached basketball, I gave special praise for assists, tenacious defense, and our unsung heroes. One young lady on our team, Jazi, as the perfect example. She may have scored only two points a game, but we were never the same without her! She was our best passer and shut down the finest guards with her incredible defense. Our victories against our toughest opponents often came from her defense rather than from our leading scorer. She was the consummate team player and unsung hero. I wouldn’t have traded her for the world.


In the NBA, the player that most comes to my mind is John Stockton, a retired point guard from the Utah Jazz. He’s the league’s all-time assist leader, which is a true sign of an unselfish team player. During his career, he handed out an incredible 15,806 assists to his teammates— truly an extraordinary accomplishment. It is rare in sports to see records that stand out like this, and it’s a testimony to John’s skill, unselfishness, and endurance.


Throughout your life, you’ll be in countless team situations, especially on the job. When these opportunities arise, focus on the team rather than on your individual contributions. Encourage them, praise them, mentor them, enjoy them, and show your gratitude toward them. Bring everyone up and your team will achieve great things. Your leadership will be liked, respected, and admired by others.

                                                                        

Can you see the difference on a team when players focus on mutual support and team effort, as opposed to seeking personal recognition? Please share your comments and stories with us; we’re always glad to hear from our readers!

 

Introducing Our New Book: Parenting for the Launch

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It’s been two and a half years since the release of What I wish I Knew at 18 and, oh what an amazing time it’s been! Although optimistic from the beginning, we could never have envisioned the success and impact it has had. We have been humbled and awed as the book and its accompanying course have made their way into homes, schools, mentor programs, and around the world.

           

To our surprise, we have heard a resounding plea from parents, educators, businesses, mentor and faith organizations, and at-risk youth programs: Please write a book for parents! Why? And, why such a sense of urgency?

           

Colleges and employers report that an alarming percentage of today’s high school graduates are ill equipped to handle the pressures and responsibilities of the real world. As our world is becoming more competitive, kids are often lacking the personal skills and qualities to succeed. The economic climate and job market are especially challenging these days, especially for our younger generation. Also, the cultural climate offers innumerable distractions and potential de-railers that most of us never experienced (or even imagined!).

 

Many parents describe feeling isolated, ill-equipped and under-prepared, with kids who don’t appear be listening during this crucial time of life. They are anxious about their children leaving home and their relationships are often strained. At a time when parents want to become closer to their teens, they feel like they’re being pushed away in favor of other voices. These questions keep them awake at night:

 

1.     Have we covered the bases?

2.     How will our relationship change?

3.     Are they ready?

4.     Are we ready???

           

We believe (and think most will agree) that young adults today need more than head knowledge. They need a solid, holistic leadership foundation that will support them and enable them to make key decisions in these crucial years and beyond. This includes having a purposeful life perspective, solid character, strong personal disciplines, the ability to develop healthy relationships, career smarts, financial management skills, and the capacity to overcome adversity.

           

We also believe that the first place this training needs to happen, alongside of schools and mentor organizations, is in the home. Parents have a unique role in preparing their children for a successful launch to the real world. It is a role that is both exhilarating and challenging, to say the least.  It can be “the best of times and the worst of times,” as Charles Dickens once penned! And, while there are many excellent parenting books out there, many focus on behavior and discipline without offering the complete picture of life readiness. 

 

 So, we (Dennis Trittin and Arlyn Lawrence) collaborated to write Parenting for the Launch: Raising Teens to Succeed in the Real World as a comprehensive guide for today’s parents to train tomorrow’s successful adults. We hope it will inspire, equip, and encourage parents with proven principles and innovative strategies to confidently navigate the later teen years, particularly in that strategic period leading up to the “launch.”

           

We are over-the-top excited about this book! (And so are the reviewers of our manuscript!) Parenting for the Launch is designed to help parents grow in their understanding, effectiveness, and confidence in preparing their teens for a successful launch. It is filled with principles, strategies, thought-provoking questions and exercises to guide today’s parent. It also offers the invaluable perspectives and desires of employers and educators who are working with young adults—“real world” perspectives on what our children need to thrive in adulthood.

 

Want a sneak peek? The book contains three powerful sections:

1.     Destination Preparation: how to give teens “wings, not strings,” setting parenting goals, building a leadership foundation in your teen, and preparing him or her with street-smart wisdom for key life decisions

2.     Relationship Preparation: how to customize your parenting based on your teen’s unique personality, how to affirm his or her value through an understanding of his/her “personal assets,” how to successfully communicate and build an enduring relationship, and how to recruit positive third party voices into your teen’s life

3.     Transition Preparation: how to move from the driver’s seat to the passenger seat by gradually releasing control, and how to set up for a successful transition after your teen leaves home

 

Parenting for the Launch is expected to be released in November, 2013. Please grow our circle by “liking” our FB page and following us on Twitter. Help us spread the word by sharing Parenting for the Launch with your friends, family, and associates. Watch our website and your inbox for updates, and if you’re not already on our email newsletter, you can sign up here.

 

You can pre-order Parenting for the Launch by clicking on this link:
http://www.atlasbooks.com/marktplc/03217.htm
 

 

 

Build Your Winning Competitive Edge

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When we compete at an early age, the stakes usually aren’t that high. Whether it was a pick-up game or a spelling bee, our world didn’t end if we lost. However, as we age, the stakes become greater. It becomes getting into the school of your choice, or landing your dream job where you have to out-compete a worthy list of candidates.

 Like it or not, you’ll face many important competitive tests in life. Often, you’ll find these situations associated with your career. For this reason, it’s essential that you develop your distinctive advantages along the way. The more skilled you are at doing this, the more likely you are to win the job or that special promotion.

Our world is much more competitive than ever before. Gone is the day when our U.S. economy was built on manufacturing and manual labor with jobs that didn’t require a college education. In those days, workers were paid by the hour and there was little differentiation in wages. Our economy has become more service-oriented and knowledge-based, which has changed everything. Now, you have to demonstrate something special (i.e, skills, experiences, and achievements) in order to land the job and advance in your career. Together, these make up your competitive edge, and should include:

  •  developing both skill-based and attitude-based competitive advantages. Together, they’re a powerful combination.
  •  considering what would stand out about you to future employers during your eventual job search
  • going the extra mile to become better qualified through experiences and continuing education
  • taking every opportunity you can in these next several years to work, intern, and network. It’ll help separate you from the crowd.
  •  if lacking a skill or a professional qualification, attacking it with full force
  • demonstrating an attitude of continuous improvement and a commitment to excellence
  • showing results and impact. Create great personal stories that will inspire employers. If you don’t, remember that someone else will—and they’ll wind up with your job or promotion!

 

You’ll gain two significant benefits from building your competitive edge. First, you’ll expand your skill set and become more marketable, promotable, and valuable. Second, it will show employers that you’re passionate about your work and are driven to perform. Give an employer a great skill set and a winning attitude, and you’ll be a success story in the making!

Help the young adults you know to evaluate: As you assess your skill set and experiences, what do you consider to be your greatest competitive strengths? What are your weaknesses? How can you maximize those strengths and strengthen the weaknesses?