Count your blessings. It’s a bit of a cliché phrase, but it is incredibly good advice.
While others are adding up their troubles and stressing about life situations they can’t control, you could be focusing on personal contentment and happiness by considering all the little blessings in your life.
As I think about the people I’ve known in my past, the people who have regularly counted their blessings (both big and small) seem the most content. They take nothing for granted and appreciate the simple pleasures in life. They’re marked by joyful spirits and seek opportunities to pass that joy on to others. By counting their blessings, they’re able to take major challenges in stride because they remember what they’re truly thankful for. Doesn’t that sound like someone you want to be like?
Did you know that researchers have found that there are lasting benefits from counting your blessings? A recent study asked participants to think about three blessings at the end of the day and why they thought those blessings happened. The results were astounding. By practicing what the researchers called, “The Three Blessings Exercise,” every participant experienced more positive moods and less negative emotions and depression symptoms within one week. Wow!
Not only is counting your blessings an age-old bit of wisdom, but it’s also a positive exercise backed by science. Your disposition, outlook, and ability to handle life’s disappointments will improve if you reflect on your daily blessings.
So, why not give it a try? Record your three biggest blessings each day, or, better yet, start compiling a blessing list. Keep it handy and refer to it often!
Do you regularly count your blessings? If you do, have you noticed it having a positive impact on your life? What are you most thankful for right now? It adds a spring to our step, doesn’t it?
Life Perspective
Handling Situations You Can’t Control
As much as we hate to admit it, most of us like to be in control. Control gives us freedom, power, and even confidence. It allows us to steer our own course. Be the captain of our own ship.
But what happens when we lose it? Click here to read more…
As young adults head off to college or into the workforce, they’ll be in the driver’s seat for the first time; free from their parents’ day-to-day oversight. At last, they will experience the sweet feeling of “control.” They’re excited about their newfound freedom. But is it really this easy? Of course not. After all, much will still remain outside of their control. How will they handle this new reality? Have you prepared them well?
Consider these real-world scenarios:
- They don’t get along with their roommate
- They just bombed their first science final—so much for majoring in biology!
- Just when they’re about to graduate and search for a job, the economy tanks
- They don’t land the job they desperately wanted
- They don’t care for their new supervisor
- It rains on their wedding day
- Their car broke down
- A boyfriend or girlfriend breaks up with them
- Someone they love is diagnosed with a life-threatening illness
Control? Think again! Although young adults are becoming more independent, they’ll quickly learn that this idea of control is a myth. Unexpected road bumps are the norm and will continue to be for the rest of their lives. They’ll have to deal with each unique situation the best they can, like we all do. Incidentally, most of the above examples happened to me!
Essentially, we all have two choices in facing tough, out-of-control situations: 1) stew and sulk about the circumstances and be consumed with self-pity or 2) accept the things you can’t control, work the problem, and make the best of it. You may not like the circumstances, but you can focus on what you can control, and try to glean something positive from it.
For example, you can’t control a roommate who you don’t get along with. However, you can choose to accept the situation and control the way you communicate with him or her. You can’t control not getting your dream job, but you can control your resume and sharpen your interview skills. See where I’m going?
It’s important for young people—for all of us, really—to understand that we have a choice in how to deal with matters beyond our control. For your own sake and for those around you, adopt the second approach. It’s not always easy but it’s far better than the alternative!
Remember, control what you can, but accept the things you can’t!
How do you handle things when life doesn’t go your way? Do you have a strategy that works well for you? If you have young people in your life, please share your ideas and thoughts with them so they are properly equipped, too.
Are you a Role Model around Children? Some Important Questions to Ask Yourself.
One of the funny things in life is that kids like to play “grown up” while grown ups wish they could be kids again!
Kids are highly impressionable creatures. They mimic their heroes through the clothes they wear, the way they talk, the music they listen to, and the hairstyles they choose. In honor of Father’s Day approaching, I urge you to consider the person you are around younger children (even if you’re a teen!). Are you a role model? Ask yourself these questions… READ MORE….
1. Are you an example of healthy living to the young people around you?
2. How do you handle hard times? Are you an example of how to constructively handle adversity?
3. What kind of language and manners do you project around children?
4. Do you put others first before yourself? Is kindness a way of life? Are you an encourager to others and see the best in people?
5. How’s your attitude? Do you face life with optimism and joy, or are you pessimistic? Children will notice this!
If kids are impressionable and prone to imitate, we who are older (and presumably wiser) ought to be on our best behavior when we’re around them. After all, they look up to us! Kids will automatically assume that what’s good enough for us is good enough for them. And, why shouldn’t they?
Unfortunately, many of today’s younger and less mature stars, athletes, and celebrities fail to appreciate or even accept this role. Sadly, you can see it reflected in the crude behavior of their fans and followers…whether at games, concerts, or the mall.
I have special admiration for Taylor Swift’s recent comments in this regard. When asked how she felt about being a role model to younger girls, she responded:
“I’m not uncomfortable with it. You have to be conscious of that. If you’re choosing to put out music and be out there in the public, you have to be conscious of the fact that you are a part of the raising of the next generation and you do have an impact on that. So, choose your outfits and your words and your actions carefully. I think it matters. I think it really does. You can pretend it doesn’t, but it does.”
I wish all entertainers would take this to heart.
You have the power to positively influence younger people through your behavior and mentoring. There’s no substitute for positively impacting a kid. Seize those opportunities, but remember: they’re watching you like a hawk!
How did you rate yourself on the above questions? Do you make it a point to be on role model behavior when kids are around? In what ways? Share your experiences and ideas with our online community!
5 Ways to Help Teens Build Self-Awareness
Many of you may not realize that May is National Teen Self-Awareness month. (Where was this in 1970 when I needed it?!?) Regardless of your family or career role, you probably know some teenagers you’d like to see thrive. How can you help them become self-aware?
As busy as teens are with schoolwork and activities, home responsibilities, jobs, college prep, family and social life, and more, self-reflection is probably the last thing on their minds. However, being self-aware and cultivating healthy self-esteem will help them in life more than they can fully realize. Here a few suggestions to help encourage the teenagers in your life to become self-aware:
- Journaling. Does your teen journal? If not, encourage them to take a couple moments a day to quietly reflect. Have them write down what they’re passionate about, what they value, who they aspire to be. Suggest they write about their emotions, too. They’ll be surprised at how cathartic it can be!
- Set them up with a mentor. We all need mentors! Mentorship relationships provide great learning opportunities for people both young and old. They allow us to model our life after someone we admire and aspire to be like, and learn practical life wisdom from the pros. Your teen’s mentor could be a relative, friend, pastor, or someone in their desired career field.
- Be open about your own life experiences. A huge part of being self-aware is the ability to identify key people and events that played a role in creating our worldview and life perspective. Talk to your teen about the people who played essential roles in your own life (i.e. your parents, grandparents, a favorite college professor, an author, etc.). One of the greatest gifts we can give the young people in our lives is encouragement and wisdom from our own life experience (the good and the bad!).
- Don’t always gloss over mistakes. When your teen messes up in a relationship or in school, it’s easy for us to gloss over the shortfall and boost their self-esteem because we want to see them happy. However, it is important for our teens to know their strengths AS WELL as their weaknesses. Knowing areas of needed improvement will help your teen improve his or her character and mature.
- Have them develop a “Personal Balance Sheet” of their assets (special qualities they have to offer) and their constraints (things holding them back). This exercise is both revealing and inspirational as teens reflect on themselves and receive invaluable input from others. The assignment is found at: http://www.dennistrittin.com/resources/PersonalBalanceSheet.pdf.
Self-awareness is a product of careful introspection. When teens focus on their own personal character, including her values, beliefs, heroes, goals, struggles, shortfalls, etc., they soon reap the benefits of being self-aware. People who are self-aware learn to act intentionally and deliberately instead of being reactionary. They are able to redirect negative thoughts, be true to who they are, and be a positive light to the people around them.
How would you rate your own level of self-awareness? What have you done to encourage the young people in your life to become self-aware? Are there any tips you would like to share? We’d love to have you join in on the conversation!
6 Questions to Help you Find your Purpose
What are you passionate about? Did you know simply discovering your passions can help lead you to your life purpose?
Your life purpose is an incredibly powerful force that will direct your life and determine your legacy. Find a successful person who is content and fulfilled, and you’ll likely find a life guided by an inspired purpose or mission, and a person who has applied his or her natural talents to a worthy cause.
In fact, without a strong sense of life purpose,
even the most successful accomplishments can seem empty.
Knowing your life purpose – what makes you tick, what motivates you, what you are alive on earth to do – is what ignites passion. Passion inspires initiative and creativity. It builds momentum and creates enthusiasm. It also sustains hope and perseverance in difficult times, and provides a reason (and enthusiasm!) for getting out of bed every morning.
Life purposes can be cause-driven (e.g., curing a disease, educating disadvantaged youth, sheltering the homeless, cleaning the planet, protecting our country) or skill-driven (e.g., athletes, artists, mathematicians, designers).
How can you discover your life purpose? Here are some questions to consider:
- What causes (e.g., global or community needs, people, situations, organizations) am I most passionate about? What problems would I most like to solve? What needs or people tug at my heart?
- What inspires me the most?
- What brings me the greatest joy and sense of fulfillment?
- Whose lives would I most like to emulate and why?
- What are my special gifts and talents?
- Where can my skills have the greatest potential impact?
Once you ponder these questions, see if a picture emerges about what inspires and motivates you. Then, as that picture solidifies into an identifiable sense of purpose, calling, and passion, start thinking about how you can live it out.
Whatever you do, don’t set your life purpose on a shelf and forget about it. You are a unique individual with gifts, talents, and perspective only YOU can give to the world. No amount of money, fame, or accomplishment can ever compete with that.
Someday, you’ll want to be able to look back on your life and say, “Mission accomplished!” What’s your mission? Are you living it out with purpose and passion? Please share your comments; we’d love to hear from you!
5 Surprising Benefits of Gratefulness
Are you a grateful person? Most of us would like to think we are–but how often are we really?
Gratitude is the simple attitude (and act) of showing appreciation and thankfulness. It doesn’t take a lot of our time or effort to be thankful, but it holds incredible benefits both for the one expressing it and the person (or people) receiving it. There are many benefits of a grateful heart; here are some that might surprise you:
1. Just 15 minutes a day focusing on the things you’re grateful for will boost your body’s antibodies and contribute to a strengthened immune system. This means that a more thankful, appreciative heart and mind make for a healthier body. Wow!
2. Grateful people are more focused mentally and therefore measurably less vulnerable to clinical depression.
3. Gratitude induces a physiological state of mind called “resonance,” often associated with healthier blood pressure and heart rate. Recent studies have shown that people who participate in “gratitude practices” (see more about these below) go to the doctor less often.
4. Gratitude can help you relax. Gratitude and other positive emotions are some of the strongest relaxants there are. If you are feeling stressed or overwhelmed, take some time to focus on the things you’re grateful for. It could help minimize the stressors in your life and cause you to be an all around less-stressed person.
5. Gratitude can help your relationships. Being grateful can create more positive interactions with your spouse or partner. Expressing your appreciation for them will most likely make them happy, which will in turn create yet another positive interaction between the two of you. When positive interactions (compliments, encouragement, affirmations) greatly outweigh the negative ones (sarcasm, disagreements, criticism), a relationship becomes strong and fulfilling.
When you’re grateful, you focus your mind on pleasant, positive thoughts (“gratitude practices”). A gratitude practice that many find helpful is keeping a gratitude journal. Consider taking five to ten minutes out of your daily routine to write down in a journal the things you are grateful for. This helps you appreciate the things that are happening around you and the people surrounding you. It prevents you from developing an “entitlement” mindset (the feeling that everyone owes you something). It also raises your happiness quotient!
Thankful people make the people around them happier, too, and ultimately attract more friends and opportunities as a result. Have you taken on any “gratitude practices?” How has it affected you and others?
8 Ways to Find Your Purpose
“Great minds have purposes; others have wishes.”
Washington Irving
What in the world are you doing here? Ever asked yourself that question?
Your life purpose is an incredibly powerful force that will direct your life and determine the legacy you will leave behind you. Find a successful person who is content and fulfilled, and you’ll likely find a life guided by an inspired purpose or mission, and a person who has applied his or her unique talents to a worthy cause.
Knowing your life purpose—what makes you tick, what motivates you, what you are alive on earth to do—is what ignites passion.
What makes YOU tick … and if you don’t know, how can you find out?
Passion inspires initiative and creativity. It’s what builds momentum and creates enthusiasm. It also sustains hope and perseverance in difficult times, and provides a reason (and enthusiasm!) for getting out of bed every morning. However, it’s not always easy to identify what your particular passion is.
Life purposes can be cause-driven (e.g., curing a disease, educating disadvantaged youth, sheltering the homeless, cleaning the planet, protecting our country) or skill-driven (e.g., athletes, artists, mathematicians, designers).
How can you discover your life purpose(s)? Here are eight questions to ask yourself that can help you figure it out:
1. What causes (e.g., global or community needs, people, situations, organizations) am I most passionate about?
2. What problems would I most like to solve?
3. What needs or people tug at my heart?
4. What inspires me the most?
5. What brings me the greatest joy and sense of fulfillment?
6. Whose lives would I most like to emulate and why?
7. What are my special gifts and talents?
8. Where can my skills have the greatest potential impact?
Once you ponder these questions, see if a picture emerges about what inspires and motivates you. Then, as that picture solidifies into an identifiable sense of purpose, calling, and passion, start thinking about how you can live it out. Keep in mind that there may be more than one, and that it may evolve or change over your lifetime.
Whatever you do, don’t set your life purpose on a shelf and forget about it. You are a unique individual with gifts, talents, and perspective only YOU can give to the world. No amount of money, fame, or accomplishment can ever compete with that!
Someday, you’ll want to be able to look back on your life and say, “Mission accomplished!” What’s your mission? Are you living it out with purpose and passion? Please visit us on our website and share your comments; we’d love to hear from you!
Unleash!
There was a time I said, “No” a lot. After all, I was a busy exec with a 24-7 job and a growing family. My life spheres were narrowly focused on family, career, church, and friends. When opportunity knocked (often in the form of requests to serve), my answer was usually the same, “Thanks for asking, but I just can’t fit it in right now.”
Then, one day after a heart-to-heart with myself, I conceded that I wasn’t using all of me. I had some latent passions, but hadn’t created the capacity to pursue them. I decided I would start saying, “Yes.” To give more of me. To make room for new opportunities to serve causes and people I cared deeply about. To stretch myself with new responsibilities, even if they were outside of my comfort zone.
Ever since, my life has radically changed, with new meaning, new missions, new spheres, and new relationships with amazing people I would never have met had I kept saying, “No.” It’s been a profound change for the better.
2013 was a wonderful year for us on so many counts. Jeanne and I celebrated 31 years of marriage, graduated our youngest to pursue her dreams at a perfectly matched university, and watched our son embark on his new career and continue to serve God and others. How gratifying!
It was also a year when some of my biggest highlights were total surprises. Like co-authoring a new book, Parenting for the Launch, which wasn’t even conceived in the beginning of the year! Or, delivering my first Commencement speech—at a private school in Minneapolis! Or, shooting under par for the first time in my life! (And, not on a putt putt course!)
The New Year is a time for renewal and repurposing. For some, it’s also a time for new resolutions, although my highlights tend to be completely unpredictable at the beginning of the year. I love a good surprise, so my plans are always “written in pencil.” That way I can be attentive to (and save some room for) new opportunities for impact that come my way.
What stories do you have inside, just waiting to be told? What skills have been a little dormant and are ready for Prime Time? Who out there needs exactly what you have to offer? What passions are waiting to be pursued? What adventures are lurking if you would just make room and step outside of your comfort zone? What “Yes!” answer would have the greatest impact on others? And, you?
May 2014 be the year when you unleash you! Make it a great one.
~ Dennis Trittin
Focus on the Things that Matter
There sure is a lot of hustle and bustle this time year, isn’t there? Holiday shopping, holiday plans, holiday travel, holiday parties… It’s all too easy to get caught up in the activity and miss out on the things that really matter.
There will always be times in life when we feel like the rope in a tug of war, and it’s not just at Christmas. Often, when this happens, there are two formidable competitors pulling us in opposite directions. On one end are the key people in our lives with whom we have relationships. They want (and deserve) our time and attention, as well as an opportunity to grow with us. On the other end is one tough opponent—the “big three,” namely status, career, and wealth and everything that flows from that. Like most things, these are fine in moderation, but taken to an extreme (as they often are), they can destroy relationships. They can easily consume our time and energy and divert us from our priorities and core values if we’re not careful.
During the past few decades, we’ve witnessed a cultural shift toward accumulating things, rather than emphasizing in-depth relationships. You see it everywhere, especially with retailers and credit card companies that are out to get our last nickel (especially during calendar-shortened holiday seasons!). It’s found in massive consumer debt when people overspend on status-conscious items and live beyond their means. And, you see it in people consumed by their careers and in those increasingly invasive businesses demanding their employees respond to evening emails.
This holiday season, I hope you’ll remember that truly successful people recognize how important they are to others and how important others are to them. Relationships are enduring—things are not. Let’s strive to always reflect this in our priorities and in how we spend our time. We can never get back the time we didn’t spend with our loved ones. That’s a life regret we never want to bear!
Let today, this week, this holiday season, be a time of special focus and renewed commitment to the things that really matter. Merry Christmas, all!
How are you spending the bulk of your time and energy? Are you focusing enough on areas that build stronger relationships with family and friends? Or, are you allowing other things to dominate your priorities? We invite you to share your thoughts and suggestions with us commenting; we’d love to hear from you!
Time for Excellence 