character

Demonstrate the Qualities Employers Value

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  When I was young, jobs for high school and college students were plentiful. Whether it was restaurant, mill, or gas station work, most of my friends were able to pay at least part of their way through college. More recently, however, jobs for teens and young adults have become tougher to come by.

            One reason is that in this current job market, employers are preferring to hire older applicants over younger. (There are plenty of older ones available these days!) Employers say the reason is that older candidates tend to be more reliable and have a better work ethic.

            We hear it all the time. Many students are not leaving high school with the personal leadership foundation and marketable skills required to succeed in the real world.

            What does this mean for young people who want to get a job? 

           

            There ARE jobs out there for young people who are able to demonstrate the qualities that employers value. By knowing these qualities and focusing on applying them in your own life, you’ll increase your chances of getting hired and advance more rapidly. Here are the traits of a true workplace MVP in the eyes of employers:


Reliable 

Enthusiastic

Honest

Innovative

Courteous

Accurate

Adaptable

Positive

Globally Aware    

Motivated

Timely

Independent

Team player

Excellent Communicator

Leader 

Good humored


            These characteristics were drilled into me from a young age. By my senior year in college, my two summer jobs consisted of grocery stock boy and a paper mill worker. Those jobs were simply a means to funding my college education rather than long-term career interests. Although I didn’t care much for the work, as long as I was reliable and my work was of high quality, my bosses were happy. It was valuable experience and enabled me to pay my way through college. A worthy cause!

            No one scores an A+ in all of these worthy qualities. Understanding this, how would you and the people who know you best rate you on these qualities? What are your strongest areas? Which need strengthening? Take the initiative to convert your weaknesses into strengths. You’ll be that much more valued by your employers and co-workers down the road.   

                                 

How do you stack up on the most valuable employee qualities? In which areas do you see the greatest room for improvement? Please share your stories, comments, questions, and insights with our online community. We’d love to hear from you. Forward us to a friend!

Don’t Make Promises You Can’t Keep

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Imagine you see two movies (if you can find two movies worth seeing!).  The critic in you rates them each four out of five stars. Prior to going, you expected the first one to rate three stars and the second one a perfect five.

            Did you experience the same level of satisfaction from both movies?

 

            Interestingly, probably not!

            If you’re like most people, you left more satisfied after the first one. That’s because it turned out better than you expected. In contrast, you were probably a little disappointed with the second one because it wasn’t as great as you thought it would be.

            This illustration demonstrates the importance that expectations play in our lives. The greater the expectations, the greater the risk of disappointment. It also explains why it’s so important to keep your promises. After all, if someone promises you something, you’re entitled to expect they’ll deliver on their word.

            Some people habitually overpromise and underdeliver. They promise the moon because they aim to please. They say what people want to hear and feed off of their enthusiasm. However, all they do is create false hope when they can’t deliver on their promises. After a few of these incidents, people will figure them out as manipulators. Their credibility is lost forever.

           

            When we don’t keep a promise to someone, it messages that we don’t value or respect them. Rather, we valued something else more highly than our commitment. We communicate to others that they cannot count on us. This takes a heavy toll on our relationships—personally and professionally.

 

            If anything, it pays to underpromise and overdeliver. By doing so, you’ll pleasantly surprise others by exceeding their expectations. Here are some ideas for what that can look like:

·                            In your own mind, honestly appraise what you’re willing and realistically able to do for them.

  •  Allow yourself a “fudge factor” – estimate a slightly longer delivery time, slightly higher cost, slightly lower quality, etc.

 

  • If the project takes longer or costs more, you’ll still be able to come close to your original estimate. And if you’re able to deliver under your original estimate, you look like a hero!

           

            Do yourself and others a big favor. Either deliver on your promises or don’t make them in the first place. It’s a hallmark of integrity!

                                                         

Have you observed how others have reacted when you failed to deliver on your promises? Why should this be a part of how we train our young people? Do you have any experiences with this lesson?  We’d love to hear from you!

 

Value the Ride, Not Just the Outcome

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I always enjoy watching the post-game interviews of athletes who have just won championships. Sometimes they’re exuberant. Other times they’re stunned and almost in a daze. Some of them are at a loss for words, remarking that it “hasn’t sunk in yet.” When that’s the case, I often sense a hint of disappointment that they expected a “rush” that’s somehow elusive.

Sometimes when you win, you’ll feel the “thrill of victory”—and there’s nothing like it. In other instances when you reach a goal you’ve worked hard for, you might feel strangely subdued. Then, there are times when you don’t win, but your mood is upbeat. You expected to be bummed, but for some reason, you’re not.

Why are there so many different reactions?

One reason may be that when it comes to life experiences, the journey often has more value than reaching the goal itself. This is because effort, perseverance, character building, and teamwork all play a central role, regardless of the final outcome.  Winning isn’t everything. Not even close.

 

           Society places a great deal of emphasis on winning. Because of this, many people falsely believe the outcome is all that matters. Their enjoyment is an all-or-nothing proposition. It needn’t and shouldn’t be this way!

           I’ll never forget the student I met in Bogor, Indonesia who asked me the following question after my talk on leadership: “Mr. Dennis, I am someone who only enjoys the destination. Can you share wisdom to teach me how to enjoy the process of life?” I was blown away. That was a deep and mature question from such a young person! She was starting to recognize there is a bigger picture to pretty much everything in life. The question is, how to see it?

During my coaching years, I often felt more satisfaction after a one-point loss with our best effort than after a meager five-point victory against the weakest opponent.  I know it was because I held on to this one truth: the moral victory of doing your best can have just as much lasting value as an actual win. It’s not ultimately about whether or not you win or lose. In fact, sometimes your biggest losses can be the catalyst for something amazing! 

Expectations play a big role too. If you expect to win or achieve a goal and you succeed, the response is more subdued than otherwise. That’s why the thrill of an expected victory doesn’t have a very long shelf life.

Do yourself a big favor and savor the ride just as much as the outcome. You’ll experience the joy of your effort so much more!

                                                         

Have you ever had a lukewarm reaction to a victory and a surprisingly good feeling about a loss? Why do you suppose that is? Was the effort or the outcome more important? We’d love to hear from you! And, as always, please share us on your Facebook or Twitter, and encourage your friends to sign up for our email newsletter.

 

Embrace Change as an Opportunity

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Change happens—predictably or unexpectedly and happily or not. And, each of us handles it differently. Unfortunately, some are so uncomfortable with change that they’d prefer a mundane status quo to the uncertainty of something different. Because they don’t know how things will turn out, they expect the worst. That’s too bad—because change can be incredibly positive!

           

This year’s graduates are about to experience the greatest decade of change in their lifetime. Some of it will be voluntary and some of it not. Some of it will be clear and some of it will involve highly uncertain outcomes. Some of it will be easy to handle and some will be highly stressful. It’s all part of the journey.

        Think about some key changes that may be in store for your grads in the next several years of their life…

·      They will choose—and change—their college major/and or career path, maybe several times over! By the way, this is the norm. The anxiety associated with choosing your major /career is considerable—and it gets worse each time.

·      They will probably change jobs five to seven times in their lifetime. They’ll be dealing with new employers, new managers, new jobs to learn, new people to work with, and potential relocations and new friends to make.

·      They’ll likely move several times, whether for long periods or for short-term assignments. The assimilation involved in each situation is significant.

·      They’ll most likely date several different people before perhaps settling down into marriage. Since there is much more at stake than during high school dating, the pressure is that much greater.

·      They’ll very likely deal with a death in their family

·      They’ll buy their first house

·      They may be even blessed with children (which, in terms of “change,” will    make many of the above seem like pocket change by comparison!)

             You can use this list to help open up a conversation with them about what may lie ahead. Share your stories about how you faced these or similar changes. Change doesn’t seem as intimidating when you know someone else has navigated it successfully.

Since life is so unexpected, it’s wise to view change as a constant and become as adaptable as possible. That goes for all of us, no matter what season of life we’re in!

In the end, we all have a choice how to respond to change. We can either withdraw in fear or we can embrace it as an opportunity for growth, adventure, and preparation for even bigger things down the road. Sure, change will be unsettling at times, especially when it involves relocation and “starting from scratch.” However, there are countless examples of people who have endured enormous upheavals that proved transformational and purposeful.   So, encourage the young people in your life to be confident and courageous—and take it to heart yourself. Take change by the reins and make the most of it!

                                               

How do you react to change? Do you view it as a time of fear or as an opportunity to shine and learn? Why? Share your experiences and insights with us by commenting below; we’d love to hear from you!

Let Your Conscience Be Your Guide

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Life is a series of choices, some planned and some not. Some involve fun and others involve pain. Some are made from the mind and others from the heart. Some turn out well, and some we regret.

I was blessed to work for an amazing leader, George Russell, who could distill the complex down to simple truisms or questions. One of them was, “If you’re not sure whether to do something, imagine it as the headline in tomorrow’s newspaper.” Yowza!

This works like a charm in our personal lives, too—heeding that “inner voice” that has our best interests at heart. I know every time I ignored it, I lived to regret it.

It’s that time of year again. Graduation exhilaration runs rampant. Parties abound. There is much to celebrate—and, you guessed it—lots of values-based choices! Are your kids ready to make the right ones, both now and in the future?

In a cultural climate where “values” are often measured on a slippery scale of personal taste, convenience, self-gratification, and “tolerance,” kids can get into real trouble when they dismiss the caution signals. That’s why helping young people identify their values and strengthen their conscience is so important.

 

Yes, I am advocating “conscience training!” In times of growing independence, freedom, and opportunities, young people are increasingly faced with risky situations that require quick decisions. In some cases, often involving alcohol, drugs, sex, social media, and cheating, one bad decision in the heat of the moment may do irrepairable harm and derail their future plans and dreams.             

 

That’s why having—and listening to—that little voice in their head is so important in high-risk situations. Here are some ways to help set your teen up for success when it’s their turn:

·      Have them list their non-negotiable values

·      Help them identify potential risks before the fact

·      Discuss potential situations that may put their reputation and integrity at risk and how difficult it can be to recover

·      Remind them their best bet is to avoid these situations altogether before they occur. And, if they can’t avoid them, they should at least decide in advance how they will react if their values are tested.

I’ve heard far too many stories of people who didn’t heed this advice and whose college terms or career aspirations were abbreviated because of it. They often lose years of momentum and wander aimlessly in the aftermath.  Many times this could have been avoided had they asked themselves one simple question:

“How will my conscience feel in the morning?”

Have you ever been in a situation where you had to make a quick decision that challenged your value system? Did you have the courage to go with your values over the pressure you received from others? Share your experiences with your teen. Remember that life is about learning and recovering from our mistakes, and that stories are often the best teachers.

Let’s Reclaim Our Innocence

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Like most of you, my heartache from the horrific news of Sandy Hook lingers unabated. When the unthinkable happens, your emotions run the gamut, and aside from praying powerful prayers, you feel so helpless…especially when you live clear across the country. Connecticut holds a special place in my heart, having lived in Rowayton for two wonderful years in the 80s. And, as someone whose first career desire was to be Santa Claus, and who lost a three-year old nephew to a tragic car accident, you can understand why anything that takes away the innocence of childhood just rips me apart.
 
Now that my emotions have swung from anger to profound sorrow, I’m asking whether it’s possible for something good to come out of this tragedy. I’m wondering if, to honor the victims, families, friends, and caregivers, we can band together and heal our nation and our culture. Let’s not simply say, “enough is enough.” For once, can we actually do something about it?
 
What exactly is “it,” you ask? “It” is reclaiming the childhood innocence that has been gnawed at and chipped away with each passing year—a loss that is devastating our families and our nation.
 
What does that involve?
 
First, it means we demand better from those who influence the lives of children through their messages, their lyrics, their images, their advertisements, their products, their movies, their TV shows, their video games, and their laws and regulations. I grew up during a time and place when most entertainment was family friendly and parents didn’t need to have their finger poised to the off switch of the TV, radio, and turntable. Back then, mature adults seemed in charge of the cultural messages and content sent to our children, and we all survived just fine! In fact, the statistics on divorce rates, children born to unmarried parents, dropout rates, teen suicide, gang violence, unplanned pregnancies, abortions, STDs—you name it—were a whole lot better.
 
Can’t we just acknowledge that today’s sexualized and violence-obsessed culture isn’t working? And stop the denial?
 
Second, it means our culture drivers and schools promote honorable and universal values that are celebrated for their virtue. Values like modesty, kindness, generosity, respect, and dignity are the “new cool.” That what’s on the inside is emphasized more that what’s on the outside. That the voices demonstrating the courage to stand up to immorality are honored and respected. That those defending irresponsible messages to children as “simply reflecting culture” are rebuked for the lie they are perpetrating. That those who want to voluntarily pray are not discriminated against. And, that those influencing our children start putting their content and messages through a “child innocence filter.”
 
This is not meant to take away from the national conversations we need about our policies and regulations regarding mental illness and weapons. They, too, are deserving. But, on this day, I can’t seem to get out of my mind the image of a child from the great place of Newtown asking of us, “Can’t we be kids for just a little while longer?”
 
They deserve better. And, I pray we have the courage to deliver it.
 
With Love and Blessings to the People of Newtown,
 
Dennis Trittin

Bullying Part 2: Addressing the Heart Issue

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In last week’s post, we started a conversation about identifying the real issue behind bullying. This month is National Bullying Prevention Month, and we think the problem is worth not only a good conversation, but also a genuine cooperative effort between schools, communities, parents, and students.
 
One thing’s for sure. Bullying isn’t primarily a behavior issue. It’s a HEART issue.
 
Unfortunately, when we address bullying as simply a behavior issue, we may get conformity—but without genuine personal transformation.
 

 

Frankly, we don’t think that’s good enough.
 

Poster contests and slaps on the hand are NOT going to change the heart issues that lie at the base of bullying behaviors.  What are? Early training and ingraining of healthy relationships and character (i.e., developing healthy attitudes, behaviors, and decisions). If that doesn’t happen in the home, we can all help in other arenas like school, church, community clubs, sports teams, and neighborhoods.
 
Here’s how you can invest in kids to encourage and empower them to develop healthy heart attitudes toward others:
 

  • Help children understand both active and passive bullying, to instill awareness and empathy (e.g., beating someone up, taunting them, or posting online ridicule is active bullying; deliberate exclusion is passive bullying)
  • Invite students to become a part of the solution by defining and modeling a positive culture of integrity and kindness, and holding each other accountable
  • Mentor the bullies on the heart issue, not just the behavior (here, counselors can get to the root cause of the insecurity or desire for control that’s driving their actions)
  • Schools should strive to develop a strong Personal Leadership Foundation in their students to combat bullying before it happens and foster healthy learning environments for all. Doing so will require an active school commitment to character and leadership training.
  • Help students understand that deliberate acts of unkindness are the manifestation of our own insecurities. Calling it out this way may make bullies think twice and lead to the needed conviction and change. 
  • Teach that the most successful and admired people go out of their way to build up others, not tear them down. (Imagine if students said only neutral or positive things about one another!)

 
One complicating factor is that “bullies” don’t always fit into a neat profile—and bullying can strike in seemingly unlikely places. The following video, first aired on The Today Show, is a good example. In this case, it’s an ultimately transformational story of how a couple of high school bullies had a change of heart and went on to become anti-bullying advocates. I wish every bullying story turned out this way:
 
http://video.today.msnbc.msn.com/today/49461049/#49461049
 
This could be my town or your town, our schools, our kids. If it happens—do you have a plan?
 
What is your school, family, organization, or community doing to address the heart issues behind bullying behavior? Please “share” this post with friends, and comment here on our website. If you haven’t already, be sure to sign up for our e-newsletter. We’d love to hear your thoughts and suggestions!