How to Build a Growth Mindset in Your Students and teens

Posted by lifesmartblog

dirt-gardening-grow-1214405 Looking back, our high school days were great, okay, or disappointing (or worse!) depending on the year. So, we should expect that our kids will be starting this new school year with excitement, ambivalence, and maybe even dread, often depending on the previous year. Regardless of where your children/students are attitudinally, here’s one thing they can all benefit from as they make their grand entrance—taking the Growth Challenge.

What’s the Growth Challenge, you might ask? Here’s a quick synopsis: Have your students/children take note of where they are now in key aspects of their life. Then, have them identify some focus areas for growth/improvement. Next, encourage them to develop plans to meet their growth goals. Finally, have them assess their progress quarterly (and make adjustments to their plan as needed). In the business world, we call this the “plan, do, and review” cycle, and it works for people too!

As parents, teachers, and mentors, we play a big role in the success of the next generation. Of course, the responsibility for their choices does not fall on us, but it is our job to equip, encourage, and empower them. One powerful way is to help facilitate the Growth Challenge. Here are a few steps to get you going.

Begin with a holistic self assessment. Have your child/students record how satisfied they are in terms of: 1) academics (grades, specific subjects, study habits, etc.), 2) relationships (friendships,, family, network), 3) physical health and well being (fitness, health, nutrition), 4) emotional and spiritual health (self worth, confidence, contentment, faith, gratitude, temperament), 5) leadership/soft skills (integrity, dependability, work ethic, team mindedness, time management, professionalism), and 6) interests/extracurricular activities.

Then, based on their self evaluations, have them identify their greatest growth priorities for the coming year for each category. Which could have the biggest impact in the near future? In the long-term? Give them some time to think about this, and encourage them to record their thoughts in a journal or device.

Have them develop their top overall priorities based on their conclusions from each category. Parents, teachers, and mentors, you can help them prioritize by sharing your own knowledge or experience, but don’t make up their minds for them. (For example, if a student is hoping to enter the military after high school, physical training might fall higher on the priority list than a student who plans to intern at an art gallery.)

Encourage them to record their three to five top priorities for growth. Don’t let them go overboard making a laundry list. Next, have them set specific, achievable goals for each of their top priorities. What would constitute success to them? What are some measurable ways that they can track their progress? Then, have them develop action steps to help their goals become a reality.

Finally, suggest a quarterly review (with a mentor, counselor, parent, or teacher) to assess their progress, and make any midcourse suggestions or corrections necessary to achieve their goals.

Not only will this “growth challenge” help them progress this year, but it is a discipline that will serve them for a lifetime.

Let’s start building a growth mindset in our children, teens, and students. The future belongs to them, but it starts with us.

If you want to see a sample “Growth Challenge” mock-up for reference, you can find it here.

Take Charge of Your Worries

Posted by lifesmartblog

Have you ever noticed that some people are chronic worriers, while others seem to calmly take things in stride? I’ve often wondered how hard life must be for the worrying types. They face the same uncertainties as more easygoing types, but somehow manage to focus on what could go wrong or how something may potentially negatively affect them. It shows up in their stress level, appearance, disposition, and encounters with almost everyone.

Very early in life, I decided to minimize worry because it rarely did me any good. I noticed that the more I worried, the more difficult life seemed. I learned to adopt a phrase my mom always said: “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” I realized that things generally worked out fine anyway, and even when they didn’t, I somehow managed to deal with them (and build a little humility and resilience in the process!). The best approach is to focus on the things I can control.

If you have a tendency to worry (as in, “what if he/she won’t like my gift?!?”), I encourage you to reflect on the following questions:

How often have your worries actually been justified (i.e., when the bad news DID happen)?
If things didn’t work out, did you still deal with them well and grow as a person?
Can you remember what you worried about a year ago?
What do you tend to worry about and why? Can you instead channel these worries into a productive plan to achieve a good outcome?
What can you do to worry less and trust yourself more?

In addition to asking yourself these questions, you can also follow these tips to help you slow down, relax, and focus on the positive and constructive instead of the negative and hypothetical:

Accept the fact that uncertainty is a normal part of life..We can’t always know the outcome of a situation before we enter it!
Even if your life has been filled with challenges, try to take each opportunity with a fresh start. Keep an open mind and try to avoid jumping to conclusions.
Surround yourself with positive people who are uplifting and encouraging. And, by all means, take advantage of the wisdom and care from your friends and family.
Set aside a “quiet time” for yourself every day, especially when you’re going through a challenging time or decision. Use this time to reflect, meditate, and think about the things that may be bothering you. When you make this a regular habit, you will notice you spend less time throughout the day distracted by worrisome thoughts.

Every one of us will go through challenges and worries. In fact, our greatest character growth comes from enduring trials, which often prove to be for our own good (even if it’s hard to fathom at the time). So if you’re a worrier, do yourself (and those around you) a favor: take charge of your worries rather than letting them take charge of you!

“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.” –Leo Buscaglia

In uncertain situations, do you tend to worry a lot? What steps can you take to worry less and trust more? What tips and tricks have worked for you?

Constructive Criticism Can Help You Grow

Posted by lifesmartblog

How committed are you to correcting your weaknesses and building your strengths? Do you embrace constructive feedback when it comes your way?

Let’s face it. Most of us love to receive compliments—but criticism? Not so much. Criticism, even if it’s constructive, can sometimes make us feel guilty, ashamed, or inadequate. We often become angry or withdrawn when we receive it. We can be defensive. Or, out of hurt, we turn the tables on the people criticizing us, attacking their credibility and motives.

The common sense reality is that if we’re genuinely interested in improving ourselves, we should be just as interested in hearing about our weaknesses as we are our strengths—even if the method of delivery is indelicate. We are, after all, a work in progress!

It’s a great idea to make it a practice to actively solicit constructive feedback from your superiors, friends, and role models. This means asking them questions such as:

Am I meeting your performance expectations?
How can I improve—as a person and as a colleague?
What do you see are my strengths and weaknesses?

It also means being able to receive the feedback with a grateful heart whether you asked for it or not. It’s natural to react defensively when someone gives critical feedback. But if you do, you’ll miss a golden opportunity to learn and grow. Here is some advice to receive criticism well and use it to your advantage:

Don’t take it personally. If someone criticizes you for something you’ve done, it doesn’t mean they don’t like YOU.
Learn to separate yourself from the criticism and take it at face value. Think of it as a gift from someone who cares about you!
Resist the temptation to interrupt or argue. Thank the person giving you feedback, and assure him or her you’ll take it to heart and consider it.
Thank the person for the feedback. If it seems appropriate, enlist his or her help for making changes related to the advice given.
Ask for specific examples of any behaviors needing improvement.

This is especially important for young people to embrace—a challenge when they’re exerting their independence and think they know it all. I adopted this practice early on in life and consider it one of the most valuable life lessons in my career. It made me progress that much faster by seeking the wisdom and feedback of others. It’s a hallmark of excellence!

Make it a point to ask for one piece of constructive feedback from someone in your life and practice responding in the ways we’ve just discussed. Are you a parent or teacher? Share this lesson with the young people in your life. If they apply it, they’ll likely thank you for it some day!