From Director to Encourager: Learning to Cheer from the Sidelines

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ID-1003929It’s likely some of you have students who will be on their way to college in a matter of weeks or days. Finally, their first taste of independence (and arguably the greatest milestone for their parents as well)!  So, how are you feeling about it? If you (or someone you know) has a college freshman about to start school, this post is for you!

 

I remember the first time I (Arlyn) heard the term “helicopter parent.” It was at my daughter’s college freshman orientation, where they separated parents and students into different rooms and gave us each a good talking-to. There they told us, in no uncertain terms, that helicopter parenting would be detrimental to our students’ success in college.

It’s pretty easy to imagine. A young adult is off to the real world—college or the work force—ready to make his or her mark in life. As he does, there is a helicopter hovering over him, the pilot barking advice through a megaphone. The copter sweeps in for closer views at times. Other times, it pulls away slightly but it is always a very real presence, with the whirl of its blades never too far away.

Our children’s generation has seen the rise of helicopter parents more than any other.. As they hover, they’re always advising and intervening, enabling and rescuing, offering opinions and sometimes outright manipulating. Why? Generally speaking, the reasons include “to be involved in my child’s life,” to “help,” and to “be an advocate.” Good intentions—but when they start to work against our ultimate parenting objectives, these efforts can actually become counterproductive and downright detrimental. Employers and school and college counselors are witnessing it in droves.

“Millennials have had helicopter parents who have protected them,” says Dan Jones, president of the Association for University and College Counseling Center Directors. “They haven’t had the opportunity to struggle. When they come to college and bad things happen, they haven’t developed resiliency and self-soothing skills.”[i]

Let’s back up and identify why this is such a problem today, since our parents’ generation didn’t suffer from it as much. Theirs was (again, generally speaking) more a generation of self-sufficiency—of parents and their adult children living their own lives. This, however, is the generation of highly involved parenting. This is the generation whose fathers are in the Lamaze classes and the delivery rooms, whose parents are at every ball practice, and some of whose moms (or dads) give up lucrative careers to take on the full-time career of parenting. And, they give it every bit as much effort and excellence as their corporate careers! Thus, was born the performance parent.

These involved parents serve on the committees at the preschool and bring cupcakes to every party, they make their kids’ beds and pick up after them, they sometimes DO their kids’ homework, and they make every personal effort they can to help their kids make the team, earn a 4.0, get the job …

So, guess who’s having a little trouble letting go when Junior goes off into the real world? (Hint: It’s not Junior!) Just check the Facebook posts of parents who are readying to launch their teen and you’ll see what I mean!

Young children need their parents A LOT. They need us to interpret the world for them, help them make decisions, recognize and avoid danger, choose the right kinds of friends, and know when to work and when to play. That being said, our role is an evolving one. In fact, our goal should be to eventually work ourselves out of a job! Well, sort of.

When our kids were little, we put training wheels on their bikes, and then took them off as they demonstrated increased strength, balance, and confidence. That’s how we should be approaching the teen years. We go from holding them on the bike with both hands, to keeping one hand on the seat, to letting them ride alone with training wheels, to taking off the training wheels and cheering like crazy from the sidelines. That’s what being a “chief encourager” is all about.

Going from director to chief encourager is one of the biggest challenges for parents during the years leading up to and including the launch. And truthfully, it can be a big challenge for teens as well (although they probably won’t admit it). Change isn’t easy for any of us. But if teens are going to be successful, confident adults, they need to be able to operate independently. If you haven’t started operating as your teen’s chief encourager (rather than pilot or director), it’s time to start practicing now! You’ll be pleasantly surprised by how your teen rises to the occasion as you gradually let go.

This blog post was adapted from Parenting for the Launch: Raising Teens to Succeed in the Real World by Dennis Trittin and Arlyn Lawrence. To purchase, visit www.parentingforthelaunch.com.

Photo: freedigitalphotos.net, by Tim Seed

Smile–It Means More than You Think

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ID-10092716“Let us make one point, that we meet each other with a smile, even when it is difficult to smile. Smile at each other, make time for each other in your family….for smiling is the beginning of love.”
― Mother Teresa

Have you ever thought about what your smile—and your countenance in general, really—say about you? When I first meet someone, I look at their eyes (are they kind?) and their mouth (are they joyful?). I am sure that judging a first impression based of eyes and smile might sound crazy to some, but actually, these cues are often spot on. They are great indicators of a person’s level of engagement with those around them. If the eyes and mouth don’t make a great first impression, it’s likely the rest of the person won’t either.

What impression do you give other people when they meet you for the first time? Your countenance matters, probably much more than you realize! After all, the person you just met could become a new friend, future spouse, future in-law, potential employment reference, employer, manager, industry contact, mentor, or client. The fact is, life is a series of chance moments with others, and you never know what might become of the people you meet and the role they could play in your life.

There’s a wise saying: “You never get a second chance to make a good impression.” In fact, most employment recruiters will say that the first 30 seconds of an interview will make or break your chances! Yes, that’s 30 seconds! For some, it only takes five!

In order to master the art of relationship building, it’s essential to make a great first impression with everyone you meet. Here’s all it takes:

  • Demonstrate through your countenance, words, andbody language that you’re happy to meet them (key: smile!)
  • Give a firm, confident handshake and look them in the eye
  • Be positive and enthusiastic
  • Be inquisitive. Show an interest in them and in what they say. Focus more on listening to them than talking about yourself.
  • Remain engaged in the conversation and avoid distractions like calls and texts
  • Use good manners and be gracious

Surprisingly, many people just don’t get it. They allow negative thoughts, cynicism, suspicion, self-focus, insecurity, and indifference to cloud their countenance. They may not realize it, but it shows—and in job interviews and in life, it doesn’t end well.. They may say all the right things, do all the right things, yet wonder why others aren’t warming up. Many times, it all comes down to countenance. Your smile can make all the difference!

Do you make sure to always wear a smile, especially when meeting new people? What are your tips for making a lasting first impression when you meet others? When you meet someone new, what are the first things you notice about them?

Photo: Freedigitalphotos.net, by stockimages

Parents: Your Voice is More Powerful than You Know

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In our conversations with parents of teens, their greatest struggle is a sense of loss of influence. But, while teens are listening to other voices during this season (their friends, acquaintances on Facebook, Snapchat or Instagram, celebrities, parents of friends they see as “cool,” etc.), they are not necessarily cutting ties or rejecting their ideals. In fact, many times what may be perceived as a rejection is more a re-negotiation of their former parent-child relationship. Perhaps their teen isn’t saying is “I’m rejecting you.” Rather, he or she may be saying, “Hey, I’m almost grown up. It’s time to cut a new deal,” or “Give me some credit; I get it!” or “Come on, let me try and figure this out on my own!” Whether we’re talking about curfews or communication, relationships or jobs around the house, what we want to avoid is burning our bridges.

If this rings true for you, it’s a golden opportunity. If you recognize and react to this new reality with trust and they handle it well, you can build an even greater platform for parental influence and relationship in your teen’s life. This matured relationship can be a source of great benefit and pleasure to you both in the future.

Be encouraged. Statistics support the idea that, despite appearances to the contrary, parents are still the number one influencers in a young person’s life. The majority of teenagers report that they have values and general beliefs similar to their parents and consider their parents as being highly significant in their lives.

Here’s something we can guarantee: your children will make some not-so-great choices throughout their adolescent years, but they will also make some wonderful ones. They will stumble and make great strides. Sometimes, they’ll want you to pick them up, dust them off and set them straight again. Other times, they’ll prefer you keep your distance and let them handle it on their own.

If you’re worried about the voices influencing your teen’s life, or if you’re struggling to  get through to them on your own, try these exercises:

  1. Make a list of the five most influential people in your teen’s life. Are you happy with the list? Whom would you like to add? Is there anyone about whom you have concerns? Discuss these with your spouse or parenting partner. Come up with some strategies for ensuring there are strong, positive third party voices in your teen’s life.
  2. Ask your teen to identify the top five people he or she admires most and why. What are the common denominators? The people they admire can be an indicator of your child’s priorities and values. Do they align with your family’s?

If you have the benefit of a variety of positive, encouraging, and healthy voices in your child’s life (coaches, mentors, relatives, teachers), you’ll be able to approach the launch with a greater sense of peace. He or she will be all the more prepared for the real world, where we all have to sort the good voices from the bad. Hopefully, they’ll surround themselves with the good.

That’s all part of the journey on the road to adulthood. Just remember, no matter how tough the going gets, you are your child’s main influencer and they DO value what you think.

Parents, do you feel that you have a good line of communication with your teen? Have you had to take a more “hands off” approach lately (especially with those who have recently graduated high school)? What strategies have you used to cope? What have you learned from other parents?

To learn more, or to order your copy of Parenting for the Launch: Raising Teens to Succeed in the Real World (Dennis Trittin & Arlyn Lawrence, LifeSmart Publishing), visit www.parentingforthelaunch.com.

 

Everyone Needs an Emergency Savings Fund (and How to Start One)

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ID-100237370Sometimes our plans go awry and the unexpected happens. You lose your job. You take a pay cut when your employer trims the budget. You’re out of work for months recovering from surgery. Your roof leaked (or, in our case, our septic system backed up!) while you were on a long vacation. Your washer and dryer went out. You dropped your smart phone in a puddle. What will you do?
Hopefully, you’ve planned for emergencies and contingencies.
According to a 2011 survey by the National Foundation for Credit Counseling, 64% of Americans don’t have enough cash on-hand to handle a $1,000 emergency. This means that if a crisis strikes, big or small, and you DON’T have money put away for emergencies—they’re in for a world of hurt. They’ll realize the hard way that they needed a special fund for life’s unexpected lemons.
An “emergency fund” is an account set aside with money earmarked solely for high impact contingencies that inevitably surface  As a rule of thumb, it contains four to six months worth of average monthly expenses (invested in safe, short-term investments) will help serve as a buffer in these unfortunate situations. During periods when the economy is weak and your job may be in jeopardy, it’s sensible to build a six to twelve-month emergency fund to give you an extra cushion. Establishing an emergency fund should be your first financial priority once you begin your career.
To determine how much you should have in your emergency fund, you should first identify what constitutes six months’ worth of normal household expenses. (Include expenses like your mortgage or rent, utilities, loans, insurance, gas, groceries, and other essentials, allowing a small amount for incidentals and entertainment, etc.)

Then, once your balance reaches six months worth of expenses, it’s hands off! You’ll need to resist the temptation to withdraw from your emergency fund for vacations, high tech toys you think you can’t live without, or any other non-emergency expenses or indulgences.
Ultimately, what an emergency fund buys you is peace of mind. When the invevitable happens, you won’t have to scramble around for the money you need and you won’t have to turn to credit cards or other debt. It’s like an insurance policy you’ll be glad you have when life throws you a big fat lemon!
How have you created an emergency fund?  Can you think of a time that your savings came in handy? It’s never to soon or too late to start. Do you have any other tips or advice, or creative ways you were able to save up for an emergency expense fund?

Picture: freedigitalphotos.net, PC- FrameAngel
– See more at: http://dennistrittin.com/view_blog.aspx?blog_id=249#sthash.dSjgQftJ.dpuf

Not All Challenges Are a Closed Door: Handle Adversity One Step at a Time

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ID-100271746If you’re going through hell, keep going.”

– Winston Churchill

 

What’s your reaction when the going gets tough?  Do you just keep trudging right along, or are you more likely to go back to bed and hope that when you wake up, it will all have blown over?

There’s something to be said for both of those approaches in their own way and at the right time. Sometimes we need to ride out a trial or a sticky situation and let it resolve itself. Other times we need to buckle down, roll up our sleeves, and attack the problem.
Easier said than done?  Not necessarily.
When our most difficult trials occur, such as the loss of a job or the end of a cherished relationship, it’s easy to get consumed with hopelessness and despair. These emotions are often followed by panic and a complete sense of failure. People in this situation have difficulty seeing the other side of the valley. It’s a terrible place to be.
There are two key ways to avoid this trap. One involves perspective—considering that some good may come out of this experience. At least give it a chance! Perhaps an even better job opportunity might come your way. You may find a new friend or love interest that’s a better match. Who knows? The fact is a change in one’s direction often requires a catalyst that’s negative in the short term. So, it pays to consider whether it’s a new beginning or an important growing lesson.
The second key is to develop a step by step plan and take things one day at a time. Rather than focusing so much on the outcome (which often seems insurmountable), divide it up in pieces and work the plan. This way, the situation doesn’t seem so overwhelming and you’ll build momentum with each small success. As you make progress, you become more optimistic and perform better. There’s nothing like seeing some light at the end of the tunnel to help you regain hope.
A perfect example comes from the corporate world where managements are controlling their headcount (and payrolls!) like never before, even despite posting record profits. Many excellent and dedicated workers have lost their jobs through no fault of their own. This is extremely painful because of the economic hardship and the loss of the daily contacts with colleagues and friends. People tend to react to this situation in one of two ways. Some fall into a deep trap of bitterness and self-pity, waiting for something good to come along. Others use this as an opportunity to consider new career possibilities and/or to improve their skills. Then, they actively seek out new employment situations, often finding them superior to their former job. The same is true for younger people who don’t make the team or get into the college of their dreams.
You’d be amazed at how often these kinds of disappointments prove to be the catalyst for a better future. By taking the process step by step, you sustain a positive attitude during your transition period and prepare yourself better for the rest of your life. And this doesn’t just go for job losses; the same principle applies in many other challenges you may face in your life time.
When a trial strikes or your circumstances throw you for a loop, think about ways to slow down, step back, and focus on what (and who) is important. Remember that time heals pain, and, as Scarlett O’Hara famously said as she stood on the smoldering ruins of Tara in Gone with the Wind, “Tomorrow is another day.”

When you go through an especially tough time, are you able to take things one step at a time? Do you see how progress helps improve your confidence and attitude? How can you encourage someone around you with this perspective? Please share your stories, insights, and questions with us; we’d love to hear from you!

Photo credit: freedigitalphotos.net, Stuart Miles

Parenting is a Team Sport

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Last Valentine’s Day, the parents of our teenage daughter’s best friend took the girls and a third friend out to a fancy restaurant. The dad gave the girls pretty rings and a pep talk about their priceless worth and the importance of loving and respecting themselves. He had contacted my husband Doug and me earlier to ask our permission and we happily consented.  After all, he was reinforcing something we felt strongly about and we were glad for Hillary to hear it from more than just us.

Doug and I (Arlyn) joke all the time that parenting is a “team sport”—and our team extends beyond ourselves as Mom and Dad. Some experts believe the magic number is five—that every teen needs at least five adult voices in his or her life that will reinforce positive values and a healthy self-image. For our kids, these voices have included:

  • their grandparents and other extended family members
  • family friends
  • youth group leaders/mentors
  • teachers and coaches
  • parents of some of their friends

It’s been rewarding to see the different perspectives and qualities these other “voices” have contributed, especially at times when Mom and Dad were a little less popular! They offered wisdom in diverse areas like:

  • work ethic
  • integrity
  • perseverance and self-discipline
  • relationships
  • financial management
  • spiritual life (faith, encouragement, prayer)
  • practical skills like construction, painting, cooking, and car repair
  • the value of family
  • aspirations for college and a successful career
  • modeling a lifelong marriage

Do you have the benefit of other influences in your teen’s life that will tell him the same things you would? The unique value of other adults in our teens’ lives is not just the wisdom they offer, but the fact that they are listened to. So, if our voices are temporarily devalued and our influence seems to be waning, we can recruit others to “shore us up.” Plus, sometimes other adults offer unique perspectives and insights that we as parents simply lack.

For example, when one of our kids was going through a rough patch in high school, his track coach stepped in and brought some much needed perspective, encouragement, and accountability. This coach was also our son’s AP Psychology teacher. Because of that expertise, he was able to offer him unique insights that spoke directly and objectively to his logical nature, helping him better understand himself and his reactions. It ended up being a win on a number of levels.

Guaranteed: your children will stumble here and there as they make great strides. Sometimes, they will want you there to pick them up, dust them off and set them straight again. Other times, they’ll prefer you keep your distance and let them handle it. In these instances, having those important third part voices in place will be great backup support.

If your teen is having a tough time, who in your life could become an asset for the situation? It always pays to know, and to keep them in your “hip pocket” just in case!

What do you think about the idea that “parenting is a team sport?” Who are other adults that you would consider to be on your “team?” If you need to shore this up, who are some likely candidates?

Cultivating Strong Character in Our Children

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ID-100297304“The greatest legacy one can pass on to one’s children and grandchildren is not money or other material things accumulated in one’s life, but rather a legacy of character…” – Billy Graham

Benjamin Franklin is credited with the saying that the only things certain in life are death and taxes. However, allow me to add a third thing–when your teen leaves home, his or her values will be tested. How will he or she hold up, especially when homesick, friendsick, or experiencing a raging case of the lonelies? How will they react when put in a high risk situation at a party, or offered to have their mid-semester paper authored by their English major friend? During times like these, it helps mightily to have a strong character foundation. It also pays to have a well-developed list of non-negotiable values that they will, under no circumstances, compromise.

Here, on this personal balance sheet, you will find a list of values (as well as other personal assets) that you can discuss with your teen/student. Ask them which ones are most important to them and why. Discuss which ones they would never compromise, and which values they’d like to strengthen in their own lives.

Additionally, here are some helpful pointers to reinforce:

  • Character is revealed through our attitudes, behaviors, and decisions, and is often revealed when no one else is looking
  • It is extremely difficult to recover from a damaged reputation
  • Surround yourself with positive people who will help uphold your values, not encourage you to compromise them
  • The best way to maintain strong character is to avoid potentially compromising situations. The old adage, “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure” applies!
  • You may not always be loved, but you must be trusted
  • Don’t say something about someone else you’d regret if they heard (hard to do, but such a great discipline)
  • If you’re not sure whether to do or say something, imagine it as the headline in tomorrow’s newspaper

As you develop a strong character foundation in your teen, here are some helpful questions to consider. Use them to help guide you as you navigate parenting an older teen, even if he/she has already moved away from home. Alternately, allow your child the opportunity to answer these questions about themselves.

  • Are they guided by integrity in everything?
  • Do they demonstrate love, kindness, and respect toward others?
  • Do they live with honor and self-discipline?
  • Do they stand up for their beliefs and values with conviction?
  • Are they people of humility who encourage others?
  • Do they demonstrate a commitment to excellence and giving it their best effort?
  • Do they take full responsibility for their mistakes and shortfalls?

Know that in the teen and young adult years when they’re facing major life transitions and social adjustments, they will slip up sometimes. That’s one reason it’s so important to share in humility your own mistakes. Let them know you weren’t perfect either!

Parents, how would you rate yourself when it comes to building character in your children? What methods have you utilized to help build a strong character foundation? What have you noticed works best? As always, feel free to join in on the conversation!

 

Photo: Freedigitalphotos.net, by Stuart Miles

Five Keys to Nail Your Performance Review

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Now that school is out and summer is in full swing, many of the young people in our lives are headed into the career field or starting up summer jobs. So here’s an opportunity to equip them with some “street smart” wisdom to excel on the job and win some great references!.

 

For many, few things generate more stress and discomfort than a performance review. For all parties! It doesn’t have to be that way, but unfortunately it usually is.

For the reviewee, questions race through our minds. Will it be fair? Will it reflect all of my contributions? Will he/she rip me for my missed goals? Will I get a raise and if so, what? Will I be scolded for anything? Expecting the worst, we enter the boss’s office a nervous wreck, ready to do battle if we don’t like what we hear.

 

It’s no picnic for the reviewer either. Let’s face it: most of us don’t mind delivering compliments, but constructive feedback…not so much. Arguably, most supervisors are underwhelming in the relational aspects of management and can be a bit awkward when discussing their employees’ “growth areas.”

 

I was fortunate enough to have achieved virtually all of my career goals for a number of reasons, not the least of which was by setting myself up for success in my performance reviews. Some of my methods are rather unconventional, but they worked during each stage of my career. I’m confident they’ll work for you, too.

 

  1. Understand your manager’s definition of “excellence” (then deliver!)

    On my first day on the job, my manager discussed the position requirements in great detail and then handed me the performance evaluation form. He told me that in six months I’d be evaluated and the overall ranking would determine my raise. I perused the form, noting the eight ranking categories and the 1-10 rating scale (10 being excellent). Things like reliability, job requirements, teamwork, leadership, communication, and attitude.

    Struck by these highly subjective evaluation categories, I asked how he defined “excellent” in each one. He said he didn’t give excellent ratings. I told him that in six months I wanted to be his first. I was armed now, and six months later, I indeed would be his first “excellent” employee. Yes!

    Get inside your manager’s head when it comes to your evaluation, especially if it’s highly subjective. After all, if you don’t know the target, how can you reliably hit it? Most managers will not automatically volunteer this, so you’ll have to ask for it.

  2. Have your manager to identify the most significant potential accomplishments (then deliver!)

    Another great strategy is to ask your manager to provide a list of the most important accomplishments you could achieve in the next review cycle. Chances are your job is multifaceted, but it’s always important to know what the boss would consider to be home run This way, while you deliver on your core job requirements, you also keep these key goals in mind. Again, supervisors don’t always offer this up naturally so you’ll need to ask for it. They’ll willingly comply!

  3. Contribute to your employer’s (and your manager’s) success

    In order to consistently nail your reviews and maximize your value, you’ll need to go above and beyond your job requirements. Different positions offer different possibilities, so think creatively. For example, during my investment management career, I was the “go to” person to help land major new accounts. So, in addition to delivering solid performance, I helped generate revenue for our business. That significantly broadened my impact and my list of advocates during review time!

    For the most part, there are four key ways you can contribute to your employer’s success: 1) help generate sales and retain key clients; 2) help reduce costs or improve efficiency; 3) innovate (e.g., new products, quality enhancements); and 4) lead (projects, people). How can you impact your employer’s performance—directly and indirectly?

    Lastly, it pays to understand how your manager is being evaluated. That way you can help contribute to his/her success, too. BOOM!

  4. Fully inform your manager before the fact

    Unfortunately, it’s impossible for a manager to recallall of the accomplishments and contributions of every employee over the review period (especially if it’s annual!). Consequently, it can become contentious when a manager fails to reflect key information in the review. Here’s where some preventive medicine can help.

    First, draft and deliver a self evaluation prior to the review date. List your major accomplishments and any factors that played into your performance.

    Second, to the extent that you’ve made key contributions to other departments, ask your advocates to draft a note on your behalf. Again, do not assume that your manager will know about (much less remember) your broader contributions to the organization.

    Finally, it always pays to ask for interim feedback at the midway point of your review cycle. That way you can make any midcourse corrections during the second half.

  5. Be a cinch to manage

    Management is something most people aspire for but quickly become disillusioned with. Many are promoted into supervisory positions despite lacking leadership skills or proper training.

Knowing this, I’ve always had empathy for the boss and went out of my way to be easy to manage. That meant delivering excellent work and meeting all deadlines a day or two early. I kept a positive attitude and was regarded by my peers as a constructive team player. This kept complaints to a minimum and guaranteed positive feelings about me while my review was being drafted.

These strategies will not only help you deliver great performance but will also help you receive a review that reflects it. May it be a “win win” for you and your manager!

Don’t Be a Procrastinator!

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Are you sabotaging your own success? If you’re a chronic procrastinator, chances are … you  might be.

Procrastination is the act of putting off what seems like a mundane, intimidating, or unpleasant task to some (usually vague) future date, replacing it with a task or activity that feels more comfortable, exciting, or pleasant. This is not a genetic trait; psychologists tell us that procrastinators are made, notborn.  This is good news for procrastinators! Though it takes work and retraining, you CAN increase your follow through and productivity and multiply your chances of success.

As you may have already discovered, life becomes increasingly challenging for the procrastinator, especially when things get hectic. When we’re kids, most of the deadlines we face are school-assignment driven. However, that quickly changes when we’re in college and worsens precipitously with careers and family. Keeping it all together without missing deadlines becomes almost impossible when you juggle a million balls and chronically wait until the last minute to get things done.

What does procrastination sound like in your head? It says things like, “I’ll feel more like doing this tomorrow,” or, “I work best under pressure.” But, in fact, you don’t feel like doing it the next day and you don’t really produce your work best under pressure.

What does procrastination look like? It looks like distraction—which is particularly easy to come by these days. Most procrastinators actively look for distractions, especially those that don’t require a lot of commitment. Checking e-mail is a great example. It appears productive, but is often little more than a time-waster in the face of more important things that need to be done. And then there’s Facebook …

If you tend to procrastinate important tasks, here are five steps to help break this habit:

  1. Start by setting your deadline the day before your task is due. Then, simply work backwards by estimating how much time you’ll need and the number of days over which you’ll have to spread the work. Once that’s done, you’ll have your plan in place with a beginning and end and a series of in-between days with their required time allotments.
  2. Promise yourself some “feel-good” rewards at the end of your task. Often we procrastinate because the benefits of completing a task don’t seem beneficial enough when compared to the amount of work and time required. Increasing the “win” factor for yourself—even if only psychologically—can be motivating.
  3. Ask your friends to check in on your progress and hold you accountable—and to NOT accept your excuses. Peer pressure is another great motivator.
  4. Improve your ability to make decisions. Much procrastination occurs when decision-making skills are weak or underdeveloped.
  5. Regularly make and keep a “to-do” list so you can’t (conveniently) forget those unpleasant or intimidating tasks. And, be sure to block your time sufficiently to get the job done.

Once you practice these suggestions a few times, it becomes a piece of cake and you will be more effective. I have no doubt your success factor will shoot up exponentially: you’ll be a better student, a more valued employee, a more organized parent, and you’ll dramatically lower your stress level as well.

How have you learned to overcome procrastination and increase your productivity and effectiveness? Share your ideas and experiences with us by commenting below; we’d love to have the benefit of your insights and experiences.
 

8 Financial Mistakes You Can Help Your Children Avoid

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ID-10032399Money, money, money. Few things in life generate as much interest yet demand more responsibility. And, while money itself will not bring happiness, mismanaging it can surely ruin a person’s chances for success and cause personal and family strains. Young people who are not prepared for the responsibilities that come with managing their finances can run into major problems and often end up dropping out of college. A 2011 report by the Pew Research Center found for people ages 18 to 34 without college degrees, two thirds said they left to support their family, and 48 percent said they could not afford college. Why? One reason is that far too many college students are financially illiterate. Sadly, personal finance is not a required course for every student in every school.

As parents, you can help your children avoid some common financial derailers—not just in college, but for life.

The principles of wise financial management aren’t that tough to master. You simply need to know the basics and abide by the disciplines and key principles. It also pays to avoid these eight most common financial mistakes:

  1. failure to set goals and plan/save for major purchases
  2. failure to set aside an emergency fund for unforeseen expenses
  3. spending more than you earn and failing to budget and monitor expenses
  4. incurring too much debt, including student loans and excessive credit card usage
  5. incurring significant fixed expenses relative to your income that can’t be reduced in difficult economic times (e.g., spending too much on housing and cars)
  6. impulse buying and lack of value consciousness when shopping
  7. failure to begin saving and investing for the future at the beginning of your career
  8. lack of discipline and understanding of basic financial concepts

This list isn’t just for young people—everyone needs to keep these principles in mind both now and in the future. Periodically review how you’re doing in each of these areas, and encourage your young adult children to do the same. (Remember, they’re watching you, so be sure to “walk the talk!”) If we can successfully avoid these traps, we’ll ALL be in better financial shape!

photo: freedigitalphotos.net, worradmu