goals

3 R’s for the New Year: Reflections, Resolutions, and (No) Regrets

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Looking back on 2015, do you have any regrets? Are there things you did and wish you hadn’t—or things you didn’t do and wish you had? Any relationships that are strained? Opportunities missed?

We all have regrets from time to time. However, you can minimize big ones (or avoid them altogether) if you periodically ask yourself the regret question and then actually do something about it. The new year is a great time to start, but reflecting on our regrets and resolutions is a great practice to adopt all year long.

For many people (myself included), personal reflection time is the area we sacrifice when our lives get busier. Unfortunately, when this happens, we can get out of balance, grow impatient, and often burn out. We’re not at our best. That’s why it’s so important—at New Year’s and all the year through—to take time to unwind and reflect. Frankly, it’s the only way we can go deep with ourselves—to explore how we’re doing and consider where we’d like to go. Find a place that inspires you and quiets your soul, and let your mind ponder some new growth possibilities. (If you are a person of faith, it’s a great opportunity to include prayer for discernment and wisdom.) You’ll be surprised by your renewed spirit and by the new ideas and insights that can surface during quiet times like this.

I also find there is wisdom to be gained from older people who are in a naturally more reflective stage of life. When I’ve asked some of them about their life regrets, I’ve heard things like:

  1. I didn’t spend enough time with my loved ones.
  2. I didn’t tell my family and friends that I loved them often enough.
  3. I was too stubborn or proud to admit my mistakes and apologize.
  4. I chose bitterness over reconciliation.
  5. I allowed my life to be consumed by work.
  6. I was too hesitant to take risks, try new things, and believe in myself.
  7. I wasted too much time.
  8. I didn’t appreciate the little things in life.
  9. I valued things over relationships.
  10. I worried too much.

Do any of these apply to you? Be honest! Although regrets run the gamut, did you notice that most involve relationships and priorities? This is why it’s so important that our life be balanced and our priorities right. When we see something is out of order, let’s resolve to make a mid-course correction.

After some time for reflection, ask yourself what resolutions you’d like to make for the upcoming year, especially those that might minimize regrets next New Year’s Eve. The Oxford English Dictionary describes resolutions as “(decisions) to do or to refrain from doing a specified thing from that time onwards, or to attempt to achieve a particular goal, usually during the coming year.” What have you been doing that you’d like to stop doing? What have you not been doing that you want to begin? Are there new growth opportunities or experiences on your bucket list? Then don’t stop there. Turn your resolutions into goals and your goals into executable actions. That’s living with intentionality!

This discipline of regrets, reflection, and resolution is a good one for all ages. Consider sharing it with the young people in your life. It will help you—and them—make needed changes and “relationship repairs” along the way. Wouldn’t it be great, though, to reach the end of 2016—and even to the end of life—and be able to say, “NO (or few) REGRETS?”

Image credit: Brianna Showalter
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Out with the Old, In with the New!

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A fresh year always inspires fresh dreams. Most of us think, “What are the things I could improve in my life, if I had a fresh start?” For some reason, “January 1st” symbolizes new possibilities and a chance for a “do-over.”

In what area of your life would you like a fresh start? In your parenting or other relationships? Your performance at school or on the job? How about being more financially savvy or more organized? Or, maybe yours is like mine: to take control of busyness and reserve more time to reflect. All of these are admirable aspirations—but how can we make them a reality?

Most successful people accomplish their aspirations by staring with dreams and then establishing goals and plans to help make them come true. And, they know that the most effective goals are both specific and measurable (as opposed to vague and difficult to evaluate). As you start to identify your aspirations for 2016 and beyond, it’s important to develop short-, intermediate-, and long-range goals to help get you there.

Even if you’re not naturally a goal-setter, it’s not difficult to become one.  Start by imagining what you want your life to look like. What are the large-scale goals you hope to achieve? These are your long-term or lifetime goals.  It’s important to set these first because they will shape your overall perspective and help frame your smaller and shorter-term goals. Think about such areas as:

  • Education and learning
  • Career
  • Marriage and family
  • Finances
  • Community service
  • Relationships
  • Spiritual life
  • Physical goals (sports, etc.)
  • Talents and skills
  • Travel
  • Experiences
  • Retirement

Once you’ve established your long-term goals, you can set some medium-term goals (e.g., three to five years) that will help you achieve your long-term goals.  From there, you can set one-year, six-month, and one-month goals, all of which will ultimately contribute to the larger picture. Periodically check on your long-term goals to make sure they remain high on your list. Also, monitor your progress on your medium-range goals to make sure you’re on track.

(Parents, you may want to make some parenting goals … check out our book, Parenting for the Launch, for some ideas to help you set goals and create a family mission statement.)

Finally, start making daily to-do lists, prioritized by importance and urgency. If you do, you’ll be contributing on a daily basis toward the things that will make your lifetime goals and dreams possible. Here are some guidelines as you do:

  • Phrase your goals in the positive, not the negative
  • Make them realistic goals—ones that are possible and achievable
  • Make them measurable and specific, such as “visit five continents” as opposed to “travel around the world”

What are your aspirations for 2016? Beyond that? This can be fun and lively discussion with family and friends over the holiday season. Make a plan to check back with each other next New Year’s and see who has gained the most ground in accomplishing their goals.

Leadership for a Lifetime: Vision

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If you don’t know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else.

~Lawrence J. Peter

For those of us who grew up in the Sixties, July 20, 1969 will go down as the most inspirational day of our lives. We gathered around our TV sets in wonder as Neil Armstrong spoke these immortal words, “That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.” Our nation was brimming with pride.

A mere eight years earlier, America’s new and charismatic president had a vision. As far-fetched as it seemed at the time, JFK challenged Congress to support an initiative to put a man on the moon (safely returned) by the end of the decade. Amid a pool of skeptics, the vision was cast and NASA would successfully achieve this unimaginable mission with months to spare. It was one of the greatest moments in world history.

Question: would this have played out as it did if JFK hadn’t offered his bold vision? Not a chance. It illustrates so well why history’s greatest achievements and admired people are guided by an inspiring vision or purpose.

We might not be in the same league as JFK, Lincoln, Jobs, Disney, Edison, Franklin, Columbus, Mandela, MLK, Gates, Graham, or Mother Teresa, but in our own ways, we can all live with vision, too.  And when it comes to training our younger generation, it’s one of the most important leadership lessons of all.

During the high school and college years, a young person’s focus is clearly on the next step and specifically, on their eventual careers. While this is understandable, it can be argued that a more holistic approach to vision casting is essential. After all, a career is only one aspect of our lives and many if not most people change careers several times.

Is vision just one of those things that you either have it or you don’t? Not necessarily. Environment, training, and role modeling can have a huge impact on a young person’s inclination or ability to live with vision. Here are some suggested topics for parents, educators, and mentors to cultivate vision-mindedness in the young people we’re influencing:

The Big Picture:

  • What difference would you like to make in this world? Describe your dreams.
  • How would you like to be remembered? (The eulogy/tombstone ideas might be a little morbid!)
  • What does “success” mean to you?
  • Whose lives inspire you the most?
  • How can your passions and interests intersect to have the greatest impact?

College:

  • How will you define “success” in your college years?
  • What will you like to have accomplished in terms of academics, career, credentials, experiences, skills, relationships, and personal growth?

Career:

  • Knowing that the career decision needs to be one of the most well-researched in life, describe your 1) interests and passions, 2) natural skills and strengths, 3) personal preferences (on the job and in the working environment), and 4) ability and willingness to fulfill training requirements.
  • What perspectives can help determine that the careers you’re considering would be a great match for your skills and interests?

Service:

  • Reflecting on your passions and talents, what are some ways you can serve humanity?
  • What problems, community needs, and people groups do you feel most drawn toward?
  • When have you felt most fulfilled when helping others?

Family:

  • What are your hopes and dreams when it comes to family?
  • What do you consider the most important elements of a strong, healthy, and purposeful marriage and family?
  • What qualities will you be seeking in a lifelong partner?

Personal Growth:

  • Knowing that great leaders play to their strengths, what are your greatest assets and areas for improvement/growth? (A recommended resource for discovering your assets is this personal balance sheet assignment.)
  • Who do you admire most and why?
  • What are the traits of the person you wish to become?

As the young people in your life develop answers (and some guesses!) to these questions, it’s important to emphasize that our vision evolves over time…few are cast in stone. The key is cultivating a visionary mindset that reflects their entire life and recognizing that each vision is uniquely valuable. No one’s vision is their vision and no one can impact this world like they can.

Great leaders live with vision.

Take the “Sticky Note” Approach to Goal Setting!

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Sometimes I wonder how we all survived before sticky notes. They come in handy, don’t they, for jotting down all those things we want to remember to do? The discipline of writing down our tasks, and the sense of accomplishment received from completing them, are tell-tale signs of a productive person. I begin each day with a to-do list and I know with certainty it has made me more focused and effective.

Doesn’t it stand to reason, then, that we should also take a “sticky pad” approach to planning our lives? After all, the most successful people begin with dreams and then establish goals and plans to make them come true. Poor or random planning puts your dreams in jeopardy and, at best, makes it take that much longer to realize them.

Even if you’re not naturally a goal-setter, it’s not difficult to become one.  Start by imagining what you want your life to look like. What are the large-scale goals you hope to achieve?

Once you’ve established your long-term goals, you can set some shorter-term goals that will help you achieve them. You can set one-year, six-month, and one-month goals, all of which will ultimately contribute to the larger picture.

At the same time, don’t forget your daily to-do lists.  You’ll be amazed how much more you accomplish. It doesn’t have to be a fancy leather-bound day-timer to keep you on track.  Many times all you need is a vibrant-colored sticky note placed somewhere visible to remind you what you hope to accomplish that day. Oh, and once all your items are checked off the list, be sure to take some time to enjoy yourself for a job well done!

“If you don’t know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else.”
 Lawrence J. Peter
 

 

What kinds of goals have you established for the short-, intermediate-, and long-term?
What strategies have you learned to help accomplish them? We’d love to hear your ideas!

4 Tips to Help Your New Year’s Goals Really Stick

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Wow, the holiday season really flew by, didn’t it? There is so much anticipation leading up to Christmas, and in one wonderful, joy-filled day with family, it’s over. The lights come down, the Christmas music goes away, and life returns to normal. Couldn’t it last just a little longer?

I know I’m not the only one who experiences a post-holiday funk from time to time. But, I’ve found the best antidote is having new things to look forward to. When I take a fresh start to the new year with a sense of purpose and adventure, it makes all the difference in the world. It involves setting new goals to better myself and exploring new ways to contribute to things I’m passionate about! There’s a LOT to look forward to when we take a strategic approach.

So, in this season of new hopes and resolutions, here are a few tips to make your 2015 goals really stick and take your life to a whole new level:

  1. Set tangible goals, not generic For example, saying “I want to become more philanthropic and outward-focused in the coming year,” doesn’t give you something tangible to work towards. Instead, make a more specific resolution, such as “I would like to start volunteering at the soup kitchen once a month and donating 5% of my income to my favorite charity/mission.” See the difference? Measurability improves accountability!
  2. Be realistic. Don’t tell yourself you’d like to buy a new Mercedes if you can’t afford it, or hope you’ll lose 50 pounds if you don’t have time to go to the gym or plan to drastically change your diet. Instead, resolve to buy a safer vehicle with less than thirty thousand miles on it, or to exercising daily and eat healthier. Success with small steps builds momentum!
  3. Involve a friend. If you’re hoping for big change in your life but you’re in it alone, it’ll be much more difficult. With the buddy system, you’ll have accountability and someone to keep you on track (and you can do the same for them). Encouragement builds hope and confidence! Plus, it’s a lot more fun!
  4. Give yourself grace. Above all else, be kind to yourself. No one is perfect, and even a small upward movement is better than no movement at all. If you made a mistake and did something you swore you wouldn’t do last year, IT’S OKAY. Tomorrow is a new day, with new opportunities for growth and impact. More often than not, achieving our goals is a “two steps forward, one step back” reality. So, don’t get discouraged when you regress a little. Shake it off, resolve to get back on track today, and remember, you’ve got this!

So, have at it! As you put away your holiday gifts and decorations, start thinking about what you can do to make 2015 really count for you, your family, and your friends. Instead of feeling disappointed that the season is over, be filled with anticipation for what is to come. It’s never too late to make an effort to better yourself, and this is the perfect time to do it. Good luck!

Financial Literacy: Keep It Simple!

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As a nation, we have been witnessing a tragedy of epic proportions. Debt, deficit spending, and credit card use have taken control of the lives of millions. The result has been skyrocketing bankruptcies and enormous stress on individuals and their families. How can we avoid this situation? One way is to AVOID the credit card trap altogether!

           

I grew up in a family with a very modest income. However, we were never financially strapped. My parents’ method of managing their finances was a simple one, but it worked. They stuffed with cash for key expenses and lived on what was inside. No credit cards, no loans, no overspending. No more money in the envelopes meant no more spending. Simple. I have adapted my parents’ conservative, simple approach through budgeting and banking and we’ve always lived financially stress-free.

 

The same is not true for the majority of Americans. The credit crisis is enormous on both a national and an individual level. Bankruptcies are at a record high and most families would say that they are experiencing at least some level of financial stress. How did this happen? A couple of things have caused it:

 

·      The widespread availability of credit cards, coupled with a lack of discipline to use them responsibly (studies show spending via credit cards is substantially greater than cash only)

·      Financial literacy is not a priority in many education institutions, despite the importance of budgeting and investing in daily life

·      The rise in consumerism and the strong focus on buying “things” in our culture

 

The long and short of it is that easy access to credit cards and loans has given consumers a false sense of financial security. This lures them into spending more than their income can support. The debt builds and accrues interest, making the monthly payment grow every month. Today’s average family has several credit cards with monthly balances well into the thousands? Eventually, there has to be a day of reckoning and these large balances and interest charges MUST be tackled.

 

Fortunately, you don’t need to be a rocket scientist to live debt free. It’s easy—just be disciplined and abide by this basic principle: Use credit wisely and sparingly and resist making purchases if you can’t pay with cash. Keep it simple—avoid the credit trap and you’ll relieve your financial stress.

“Credit buying is much like being drunk.

The buzz happens immediately and gives you a lift. The hangover comes the day after.”

Joyce Brothers

 

Do you have some good strategies for (or questions about) avoiding or overcoming credit card spending and debt?  Do you keep it simple? What’s YOUR method? Jump into the conversation on my website and leave your comments. Then keep the conversation going: please forward this to friends and encourage them to sign up for our weekly email at www.dennistrittin.com/newsletter.aspx..

 

Diversify Your Life

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Sports psychologists tell us that athletes who play one sport experience burnout at much higher rates than athletes who play a variety of sports. The principle is true across the board: no matter how good something is, whether a sport, a career, a relationship, or an investment, it’s diversity in all those areas that makes life richer. 


Are you someone who focuses your life in just a few areas? Or, are your interests varied and your experiences diverse? Here’s a great example of how life diversification can work. Take PGA golfer Brandt Snedecker, who won the 2012 PGA tour championship, and also the Fed Ex Cup, for a whopping $11.4 million purse. It would be easy to assume Brandt’s victory was due to his exponential driving ability and fantastic putting (in this tournament he was number one for both). But that’s only part of the picture.
 

In an interview, Brandt said he has learned a powerful lesson as he has gotten older: Having balance in his life gives him a better golf game. These days, Brandt says, he doesn’t practice as much as he used to (sounds counter-intuitive, doesn’t it?). He works out in the gym much less. He gives more time to family. The results? A renewed sense of well-being, a better mental state, and, he feels, an overall a better golf game.

How about you? Are you someone who focuses your life in just a few areas? Or, are your interests varied and your experiences diverse? Think of the following important areas of life. Rank them from one to 12 in order of their importance to you:

               1.     Relationships—family and friends

               2.     Marriage and parenting

               3.     Career / school

               4.     Spiritual life

               5.     Entertainment

               6.     Learning

               7.     Physical activity

               8.     Travel and leisure

               9.     Arts and nature

               10.  Hobbies

               11.  Community service/volunteerism

               12.  Down time

                                                           

Now, consider how you’re allocating your time to these areas. Is it spread out or concentrated in only a few areas? While each person is different, variety will diversify who you are and enrich your life.

This lesson is as true for young people as it is for adults. Excessive pressure to achieve at academics or sports can cause teens to over-allocate their time and energy in those two areas, leaving little time for family, hobbies, and just plain ol’ “down time.” Whether you’re 16 or 60, this is a sure-fire recipe for burnout and it’s becoming increasingly common in the younger generation.

 

For all of us, making time for family, and for meaningful activities that enrich our life, will reduce our stress and burnout—and may actually help us perform better at the other things we do! Yes, variety is the spice of life!

Have you learned how to create balance in your life? How have you done it?  Or, are you one who is looking for ways to diversify your life?  Please share your comments and questions below; we’d love to have this conversation with you!

 

Value the Ride, Not Just the Outcome

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I always enjoy watching the post-game interviews of athletes who have just won championships. Sometimes they’re exuberant. Other times they’re stunned and almost in a daze. Some of them are at a loss for words, remarking that it “hasn’t sunk in yet.” When that’s the case, I often sense a hint of disappointment that they expected a “rush” that’s somehow elusive.

Sometimes when you win, you’ll feel the “thrill of victory”—and there’s nothing like it. In other instances when you reach a goal you’ve worked hard for, you might feel strangely subdued. Then, there are times when you don’t win, but your mood is upbeat. You expected to be bummed, but for some reason, you’re not.

Why are there so many different reactions?

One reason may be that when it comes to life experiences, the journey often has more value than reaching the goal itself. This is because effort, perseverance, character building, and teamwork all play a central role, regardless of the final outcome.  Winning isn’t everything. Not even close.

 

           Society places a great deal of emphasis on winning. Because of this, many people falsely believe the outcome is all that matters. Their enjoyment is an all-or-nothing proposition. It needn’t and shouldn’t be this way!

           I’ll never forget the student I met in Bogor, Indonesia who asked me the following question after my talk on leadership: “Mr. Dennis, I am someone who only enjoys the destination. Can you share wisdom to teach me how to enjoy the process of life?” I was blown away. That was a deep and mature question from such a young person! She was starting to recognize there is a bigger picture to pretty much everything in life. The question is, how to see it?

During my coaching years, I often felt more satisfaction after a one-point loss with our best effort than after a meager five-point victory against the weakest opponent.  I know it was because I held on to this one truth: the moral victory of doing your best can have just as much lasting value as an actual win. It’s not ultimately about whether or not you win or lose. In fact, sometimes your biggest losses can be the catalyst for something amazing! 

Expectations play a big role too. If you expect to win or achieve a goal and you succeed, the response is more subdued than otherwise. That’s why the thrill of an expected victory doesn’t have a very long shelf life.

Do yourself a big favor and savor the ride just as much as the outcome. You’ll experience the joy of your effort so much more!

                                                         

Have you ever had a lukewarm reaction to a victory and a surprisingly good feeling about a loss? Why do you suppose that is? Was the effort or the outcome more important? We’d love to hear from you! And, as always, please share us on your Facebook or Twitter, and encourage your friends to sign up for our email newsletter.

 

Develop (and Stick to) Your Financial Goals Part 2

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Last week we talked about the importance of setting (and sticking to) financial goals. One of the most common reasons many people DON’T is that they fail to take into account their need to save and invest each month. Why not? Poor planning. Lack of foresight and/or self-discipline. Ignorance. Overspending. To name just a few!
 
Goal-setting—and the discipline needed to accomplish those goals—is critically important in the area of finances. You’ll find that many of your goals involve substantial sums of money, and it takes planning to reach them. Among the most common financially-related goals are your: 1) education, 2) car, 3) down payment on your home, 4) children’s education, and 5) retirement. Some of these goals will come soon (short-term), some will be in the next five to10 years (intermediate-term), and some are much further down the road (long-term).
 
For each of these goals, you need to develop a financial plan that gets you there, and determine how much you’ll need to save and invest for each goal. This process  shouldn’t be intimidating. In fact, it’s actually pretty easy.      
 

  • Consider items requiring (your) major spending over the next one to five, five to 10, 20-30, and over 30 years.
  • Then, come up with an estimate of how much money you’ll need for each item.
  • Take the total for each item and divide it by the number of years you’ll need to save for it.
  • Finally, calculate the amount of savings you’ll need per year for each goal.

 
It adds up, doesn’t it? By doing this exercise beforehand, it will reinforce the importance of not spending all of your earnings on items you want now. Good planning requires the discipline of putting off spending now for the sake of important items you’ll need later.
 
When you look ahead over the next twenty years of your life, which things do you think you’ll need to save up for? How will you plan for them when there are so many things you may want to buy NOW? Share your experiences and questions with us by commenting below; we’d love to hear from you!

Develop (and Stick to) Your Financial Goals

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“The person who makes a success of living is the one who sees his goal steadily and aims for it unswervingly. That is dedication.”
– Cecil B. DeMille
 

I’m writing this blog on “Black Friday,” the proverbial biggest shopping day of the year. How many people, I wonder, are out there this very minute, frantically accumulating more “stuff” (for themselves and others), with little thought for the overall impact today’s purchases will make on their financial goals—if they even have their goals identified. Many, many people do not.
 
Are YOU a goal setter? If you are, and you’re a diligent planner and implementer, you’re probably a pretty successful person. If not, you can be!
 
Goal setting is a critically important discipline in every area of life but especially so in the area of finances. Many of your goals will involve substantial sums of money, and it takes planning to reach them. That’s why it’s so important to make a financial plan and set goals that stick.

For each of your goals, you need to develop a financial plan that gets you there. This means determining how much you’ll need to save and invest each month for each goal.  It also means exercising self-control (and avoiding the credit card trap) along the way so you don’t sabotage your own plan!
 
By developing financial plans, you’ll be in a much better position to reach your goals than if you go about it casually. All of this requires effort and discipline, but it’s not that tough once you start and stick to it. You’ll reach your goals sooner and more cost effectively if you become a dedicated planner, saver, and investor.
 
Looking ahead, which of your goals do you think will require significant sums of money? How have you planned for them? How do you stick to your plan when you’re tempted by “right now” wants? Share your ideas and questions with us; we’d love to hear your comments!